18 coming on…18?

I had a birthday recently. Yay, go Aquarius! People always ask if you feel older, but when I turned 18…yeah, I kinda do. 

The answer had always been no. How can the difference of one day make you feel any older, right? However, something was changing like a couple days before I turned. I felt like everywhere around me was talk about age. No matter where I went, someone had brought up the discussion of age through speaking or just my daily reads. A true trap.

Immediately I just ultimately considered it was a sign from the universe. That theory didn’t last long though when I had no idea what the universe was trying to tell me. Then, on the eve of February 12th, I went to bed fairly easily and awoke to a new self.

What was it? Well, I did feel a little taller. I believe possibly a new sense of freedom maybe? Possibly a new sense of responsibility thrown in as well? It was like when I turned 18 I felt like I would be held accountable for more things. Even though I still view myself as a child (because I so am) some of society would expect me at a different level. 

Now, I have the social responsibility to vote. That is like an uber-important thing that I’m ready and scared a little scared for. There are also things I can do on my own now. For example, even though my mom came with me anyway, I got matching tattoos with my brothers without legally needing her permission. She was on board with it from the start, so I never really had to convince her or anything. It’s just the things like that where theoretically I wouldn’t have to ask anyone before doing that I don’t feel I should have been given the power to do. I do not feel like our society should have given me this power already. It’s this new possible double-edged sword of freedom. All my actions have the potential of much bigger consequences. Also, I don’t always get to go play at recess anymore. 

I feel like my mindset has slightly shifted, and I just hope I never lose my inner child in all the ruckus and fussy fuss of responsibility. Going back to something I mentioned earlier I could have possibly (not really) grown taller, but I think it was more of a feeling like I had grown into myself more. I was unlocking a new section of life kind of like it was a game. This goes for you, too, when I say: I’ve gotten this far and gotten through every new step from learning to walk to walking into my first day of school, I guess what’s stopping me or any of us from keeping on? Let’s go 🙂 


Author: Diego Mendez

Just a gay aquarius taking the day one iced coffee at a time. I'm not basic though, I like chocolate almond milk too >.<

2 thoughts on “18 coming on…18?”

  1. I definitely agree with the dilemmas of growing up that you wrote about and I am glad to hear that you think you’ve grown more. It gives me hope 🙂

Comments are closed.