“I’m not perfect. Why would I ask you to be?”
― Mrs. Sibley
I often describe myself as a perfectionist, as I always strive for excellence.
However, lately, perfect seems overrated and unobtainable. I mean, I know it is, but it doesn’t feel worth it to try anymore. “If it can’t be perfect, why do it?” type beat. I’ve been meeting my goals, but I’m barely hanging on by a thread. I’m not proud of any of the work I’ve created recently, and I feel like a failure, so I ask myself: why do you keep why trying?
Why does anything I write matter if it’s not the best– if it’s not perfect? I’ve been producing work here lately that I’m ashamed to put my name on, and I don’t know how to deal. I try, and I try, but nothing feels good. I’m in this funk that feels like I’m drowning, and I can’t catch my breath.
The pressure of perfection lives on my shoulders, and it is so heavy, and I can’t carry it all. But I think acknowledging this has allowed me to let go, to release some of the pressure.
I used to think being perfect was some sort of flex, and maybe it was, but now, it’s a hindrance. I keep trying to be perfect, instead of just doing what I love. The lines have blurred, and now I can’t tell the difference, but I have to keep moving forward, perfect or not.
Here are some affirmations that I read often to keep myself motivated:
Don’t push yourself to hard Maleigh!