The Phrase “I’m Not Like Other Girls” is Rooted in Internalized Misogyny

We all knew that girl in high school who always had to tear others down to build herself up, and if you didn’t, you caught a beyond lucky break. Whether it was the classic shaming of where you bought your clothes or having your face and body scrutinized in a private DM on Instagram, we’ve all met at least one person in our lives who could not gain confidence through their own personal merits. This trope is everywhere in teen movies, usually written in as an easy antagonist, but it’s always the pink-wearing preppy girl with a caramel latte in her hand.

What is less talked about is a trend that peaked in the early-2010s: young girls who also needed to bring down others to lift themselves up, but in a much less direct way. If you’ve been on the internet for long enough, you’ve probably seen one or two “I’m not like other girls” around the internet, most likely either as a comic or a text post. The girls who post this phrase pride themselves on their “individuality” the most, and while this isn’t an inherently bad thing, it comes with an extra layer of internalized misogyny by putting down the “other girls.” These “other girls” are usually portrayed as feminine, positive, concerned about their appearance, and sexually active. The poster is usually portrayed as a “tomboy” who places little value in their appearance, reads books, and dislikes stereotypically feminine things.

 

An example of a popular
An example of a popular “I’m not like other girls” illustration. It depicts the “other girls” as dumb, “slutty” carbon-copies of each other. The “error” is a smart, modestly clothed girl who stands out among the rest of the women.

Now, this brings about the question of why this is a problem and how it became to be this way. The quick answer? Internalized misogyny. These feminine traits are viewed in a negative light by much of society including these types of girls. More masculine traits are seen as better, and the stereotype of women being stupid and vain shine through in obvious ways. This mindset stems from the dislike of being wrapped up in this stereotype and the pride felt by breaking the nonexistent “standard” of being a girl. “I’m not like other girls! I’m smart and I have an actual personality!” If you were a girl who grew up in the early 2000s, you know this type of message was in almost every bit of media you could consume. “You Belong With Me” by Talyor Swift and High School Musical are some of the first things that come to mind when I think of my elementary school days. Girls who were insecure about not fitting the “feminine look” were comforted by these and quickly began to develop a complex. I know I did.

In recent years, this trend has slowed down drastically. In fact, there has been a rise of parody comics based off of it. People have come to realize the problematic nature and the negative effect it has on the minds of young girls (and even some women.) One of my favorite of these, although it’s not exactly a parody, is a series by Julie Hang. In an interview with Bored Panda, she goes into detail about her past struggles with this mindset along with her art, which you can view and read here.

“I was a shy, anxious kid, and had a hard time making friends. Instead of recognizing my anxiety and trying to overcome it, I’d thought I’m just not like the other girls. Reading ‘me vs. other girls’ comics online validated those negative feelings and stereotypes I had towards other girls, and made me feel like judging others was the ‘cool’ thing to do.”

““When you’re young and still trying to figure out who you are, the one thing you really want to have is individuality. There are lots of healthy ways to discover yourself, like joining a club where you can meet people with similar interests. Then there is the ‘I’m not like other girls’ comic ideas online that communicates that you are indeed unique but does so by putting other girls down.”

 

Author: Lauren Stamps

Just a writer who really likes fictional robots :)

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