I am a gay male. If you have seen me or my mannerisms and style you should have probably gotten an idea by now. At this point, it is basically common knowledge. I mean, sis- come on. I was writing my blog to express how it is, and what it is like for those of you who don’t have the gay best friend or are gay and know already.
Being gay is fun, confusing, and a little daring. The fun part comes in with our culture. Our activities of leisure and pleasure just far surpass the straights. We enjoy more wild adventures at our “place of meeting.” Lots of disco balls, LED lights flashing, and dancing with fellow creatures of the night. Whereas, a straight “place of meeting” there will mostly be high top tables, ESPN on the television, and a pool table. Which sounds like a better time to you?
Oh boy.
Confusing. We do not always get the pass or privilege to publicly show who we like. A lot of places still do not accept “the Gays” as morally, or even legally, correct. I get it. We can be intimidating and sometimes a little loud, but at the same time we can make your fashion and interior design fabulous! This idea of being an outlier to society can begin to fester many negative related emotions about our selves. Many gays struggle with even internalized homophobia. This is where we may not like people who are “too gay” or constantly ask if our own actions as a gay person are “too gay.” It is a wicked battle that can sometimes lead to even more wicked coping mechanisms.
The community can be toxic within itself due to the varying types of gays. Just a few are the athletics, theatre, femme, drag queens, closeted, baby gay, etc. The community will categorize into different stereotypes, and then hold stigmas or prejudice against one another. We do not stop there though Mary. No mam’. Then we categorize due to body types. You have your otters, twinks, bears, cubs, foxes, and jocks. These have entire meanings as well, and can usually be forcing on a gay to try and fit into one they deem supreme. Confusion, again. This is all one big mess that can be overwhelming if you do not have a good support system.
Daring. This is one of the most tricky parts in my opinion. Straights are sometimes hard to identify. Especially now that our society is progressing towards a more open view and ” masculine and feminine” things. Thankfully, the lines are being blurred. The daring aspect comes in when you have to muster up the courage to ask someone if they want to be romantically involved in you. Half the time, they will be straight or still closeted, or even still have a wife. It can be such a letdown, especially how the person who a gay is asking reacts to it. That is hard for any sexuality though. Who wants to be rejected? Luckily, a good gay who has learned to heighten their senses and master their gaydar can notice the one gay in a room of 100. It is quite the feat that many do not accomplish fully until later years. Although, sometimes it can be a helpful means to survival and finding where the gays are, so a gay knows they’re safe.
This is only the tip of the iceberg with gay culture and subcultures. There is so much to it that would take an entire book probably to explain. Gays are if nothing else, a lot. I can say that cause I’m gay though.
If you or someone you know has “the gay,” then please be kind to them and try and be understanding/empathetic of what they may be facing. Thank you. 🙂
I don’t leave comments unless I really enjoy the writing. So, obviously this is amazing! Your writing is so unique to me because you are so different than I am. But I really loved how you didn’t just talk about homosexual people, you included the heterosexual people too. And I love inclusivity. And I LOVe how you promoted anti-discrimination towards homosexual people.
This is such a great piece! I think it’s very impactful when you are able to write something educational that also keeps the reader entertained and engaged, and you did that wonderfully here.
I totally get the feeling; sometimes it’s like we try to categorize ourselves without fully understanding who we are yet, and that can be scary for anyone – especially if they’ve been suppressing who they are their entire life. It’s really important to acknowledge flaws in our own community to make it a more inclusive space, and I am so proud of you for being able to articulate such a complex problem in an elegant way.
Diego, this was very informative and the overall tone of it *chef’s kiss*.