My counselor once said, “Don’t expect too much from people. You will be disappointed every time.” At first, I thought it meant to only expect the worst from people and I didn’t see how it was helpful advice. I criticized her method, as I thought she was supposed to help me see the world and people more positively, and expecting the worst was not a very positive perspective. However, I soon realized that this saying doesn’t mean to expect the worst from people, but don’t expect the best. Unfortunately, I used to struggle with both.
After being treated poorly by many people in my life, I decided I would stop opening up to people and give up on trying to find good people in the world. If someone would text me on Instagram or snap chat trying to get to know me or be my friend, I would block them lol. I didn’t want any part of a new friendship because I thought I already knew how it would turn out– with them using me and then be getting hurt again. So, I avoided this by avoiding people. I remember my sister telling me about someone who wanted to by my friend or thought I was cool and I would respond by saying, “who cares? they’re probably a jerk.” I never gave anyone a chance. But after a year or so, I decided it was time to open up a little more and let people back into my life, but I had completely different expectations for them.
Instead of expecting the worst, I expected nothing but the best. I wanted them to prove my thoughts of people wrong. The way I saw it was: If I’m letting them in my life, then they have to only make the right choices. And if they messed up the slightest bit, they’re out. This was a bad idea on my behalf because all this did was heighten my expectations so much that no one could meet them. Luckily though, I gave up on them after coming to accept no one could be the exact person I wanted them to be.
I started disregarding the mistakes people made and told myself that everyone messes up. You can’t expect the best from people because no one is perfect. But don’t expect the worst because everyone has good in them and has something to offer. Also, don’t expect someone to change for you. Learn to love them as they are. Flaws come with a person and if you can’t accept that then you’ll never be happy.
I hope you all have a great week and enjoy your spring break!
This blog was so insightful. I closed myself off from people for a long time. I didn’t want to be disappointed anymore. But that’s just apart of having friends. Sometimes, they will make mistakes. You’ll have to work through it together.