being an asexual do be complicated

Woah, Maple getting personal about her sexuality on the blog? Yes, and this is a good thing. Many people hide these things, and for valid reasons. Fear of being hated, disowned, etc. But I feel an intense need to show my community. We are often not recognized, and are seen as outsiders. So without further ado, here’s the struggles of being an asexual (for me particularly).

So, are we friends or more?: THIS! Since I only have my romantic interest in people to go off of, it’s really hard to tell if I have a close bond with someone, or if I like them. I mean, who knows? I’m always too scared to find out, which leads me to my next point.

Societies expectations: Uh, I don’t know if you guys realized, but being with an asexual is something to seriously avoid for many people. It’s like if someone is asexual it means they are not capable of emotions(not true). We are capable of loving! 

You’re what?: I am asexual, yes. I don’t just go around saying that, but I do want asexuality to be more recognized. Many times I will get these responses: “So you don’t like boys or girls? Is it because of past trauma?” No, no, this is just who I am, and I am happy with myself.

Discrimination: Uh huh, asexuals face discrimination too. If you are wondering why in the world people would think asexuality doesn’t exist, or why they would be bothered by it, me too. It’s wild, but it’s mainly because we are not talked about.

A plant: No, we are not plants. That is not how we reproduce. In fact, some may choose to reproduce. That’s the beauty of it, asexuality is like a spectrum. You cannot just assume that because a person is asexual they don’t want x, y, and z. That’s why communication is key.

You should see a doctor: You see, for the longest time I thought something was seriously wrong with me. I really felt like I was left out. Looking back now, I realize that I was/ am not broken. I deserve love, you deserve love, we all do. Don’t let someone tear a part of who you are away from you.

Overall, I’ve had my frustrations with being asexual. Yes, it is a part of me, but it is not all that I am. I accept this part of me, and just know that I accept you too. Whatever label you feel comfortable with, or not a label. Just know that there are good people in this world who have their arms open to you. You are loved, you are appreciated, and you are amazing being the real you.

I love my fellow ACES, keep being you. (and keep rocking your black rings)

–Maple 😉

Author: Maple

Maple(hold the syrup) is a wild creature from beyond. He likes connecting with others, and having philosophical conversations, while also laughing a ton. He adores nature in general, and cannot breathe if he's not in it once a day. He dreams of owning a plant shop with a corgi, and a brewery on the side. He also wants to major in psychology, and, of course, write. View all posts by Maple