Suite:
I
Wake up. Instantly regret it.
Look at your roommate.
Ask yourself why you couldn’t be more like
Her.
Drag yourself out of bed.
Feel the freezing tile underneath
Your toasty tootsies.
Regret waking up again.
Quietly get your clothes together.
Go to the bathroom. Get dressed.
Get out. Brush your jumble of
Green and yellow curls.
II
Go downstairs. Eat breakfast.
Give up on that when everyone
Leaves and you no longer have
Anything to keep you from the
Monsters in your mind.
“Stop eating. They’re watching
Every move you make. They’re
Judging you. Stop being
Disgusting. Stop being fat.
Stop being filthy. Stop, Stop,
Stop.” On the short ride up the
Elevator to your room, you hear
Singing. “Why aren’t you talented?”
Torment. But don’t show a single soul.
How dare you feel anything but
Shame.
III
The bell rings. Oh well.
Listen to music.
Sleep. Do anything but
Look at your reflection.
Don’t look at your reflection.
Stop. You look gross. You
Look like a pig. Peppaaaaa-
Oh. Maybe you don’t.
No you definitely do.
Over analyze every line
And “beauty mark”.
Scoff at their idiotic name.
How inconsiderate.
Some of us aren’t beautiful.
Refer to yourself when you
Say “some of us”. Check the
Time. 9:34. Okay.
Look again. 9:46.
Oh, okay. Rush to
Class.
IV
10 o’clock.
Blog for 15 minutes,
Even though the board says
To blog for 12. You rebel.
Listen to Mrs. Sibley.
Talk about how she
Has a secretly ghetto
Side that she refuses to
Show you. Laugh at yourself.
Listen to her talk some more.
Laugh when you’re supposed
To. Nod when you need to.
Pay attention. Heed her words
As best as you can at 11 in the
Morning. The bell rings again.
Gather your things slowly.
V
Don’t rush to eat. Dread it.
Don’t look forward to it. Abhor it.
It is your enemy. Don’t
Indulge your enemy.
Get through the line.
Hear Cuz yell “Smile,
Smile, Smile!” as you
Leave. Smile.
Look for your friends.
See them having a good time.
Look for a spot. The table’s full.
Sit by yourself because everyone
Else is together. Their tables
Are full. Sit by yourself.
Feel sad. Get over it.
Don’t be a mess.
11:40. Malone’s Class.
Get up. Go to her class.
Sit in your spot, nestled
Between a redhead
And a dreadhead. Enjoy
Their company. Find solace
In the work you so desperately
Need to complete. Try to
Complete it. Run out of time.
Vow you’ll finish that night.
Grab your bags. Get out.
Try not to look at anyone
In the eyes.
VI
These last 2 blocks go by quickly.
After Malone’s class, go to Sibley.
Journal for 10 minutes. Work on
Whatever she has you work on for that day.
The bell rings.
Take your time getting to go again.
Talk to the redhead. Listen to her
Stories about what happened while
She was that the computer. Walk
Out. Go to your next class.
Try not to fall asleep. Doze off a little.
Wake up before you fall. Think about Her.
Smile. Look down at your hands.
The bell rings. That’s it. It’s over.
Time to go back to being bored out
Of your mind. Eat dinner. Go to your
Room.
Oooh, I can see that you changed it up from last time. I really loved this, and it has a great flow. It is interesting to see your thoughts.
This is so beautiful. I relate to a lot of this on a very deep level. Have I ever told you how much I love you? Because it’s a BUNCH!
HOW does this get BETTER & BETTER each time I read it!! Such a beautiful piece <3
Agh, your poem, you posted it! This poem is so honest and beautiful, and I love how I can hear your voice in it. Like I have already said, you are a really powerful person and it reflects in your writing. I will be interested to see where this voice takes you.