I think love is ridiculously over-rated, but I can’t seem to find my way out of the pit I’ve let myself fall into. It sounds dumb (and it is, mind you) but what can a person do?
I think of myself as someone with reliable decision-making skills, and given the problems this predicament is causing, I would think I could make the appropriate decision to let this person go.
It should be easy. Factors out of my control enter the equation and butt their way into my life. There should be little to consider about the situation, and that is what I have been telling myself for almost a year- and a year is a long time to pathetically pine after someone who doesn’t care about your existence. Take my word for it, and just trust me.
In fact, I had called myself getting over this person, but the moment I lay my eyes on them, I knew I was screwed in a sticky place (possibly forever).
What do you do when you see them smile at someone else the same way they used to smile at you?
Or what about how their hands find the other one’s waist on a slow song?
Heaven forbid you watch them disappear from the after-party to be alone together.
What do you do then? (Don’t ask me)
(I don’t have it all figured out)
Get angry is my usual response to things that would make a functioning human begin cry, or whatever.
Smoking a pack of cigarettes is easier than crying, lung cancer and all. Anything is better than crying in front of them.
What about when the cigarettes are gone? I don’t know- find another pack. Jump off the back porch, it’ll work for a few minutes. Or, until you realize the porch is only about three feet off the ground and the only thing that hurts is your wrist from trying to catch yourself on the fall down.
Perhaps, try non self-detrimental exercises to cure your heart of its harrowing illness. Eat two salads a day. Drown yourself in hydration. Run three miles in the morning and three more at night. Go out on ‘adventures’. Meet and use new people. Try to feel anything but the them-sized lump stuck on your heart.
If, by some terrible happening those things don’t work, resort back to cigarettes.
(This post, in no way, endorses smoking cigarettes- this is all metaphorical)
I actually love this. It was interesting and revealing, even though it was most metaphorical. But I could really tell how you feel about this person and I liked how you were so open about everything. It was really nice:)