guess what cured my writers block…

guys, can you guess? 
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you’re right. it was the compelling relationship between to male characters with depressing backstories from a koren television show that recently came out with it’s second season. anyways, here’s a draft of the first chapter of a fanfic i recently started. it follows the plot of squid game (specifically folowing thanos and namgyu’s characters…), expect the main difference is there is no drug use. i think both thanos and namgyu would be really compelling/more compelling characters if they were sober during squid game, so im using this fic to explore that idea. this first chapter is just an introduction to that idea, but if you guys enjoy this, there will be more. or you can hunt down my ao3 account lol.
also this has not been beta read and im dyslexic so if there are any spelling errors, just ignore them thank you.

trigger warning for implied suicide attempt, reference drug use/addiction, and general mature themes. 

 

EPISODE 00 – Playing with Fate

On the North end of the Hangang bridge, Choi Su-bong stood with a cross-shaped locket in his hand. He had taken it off of his neck and let it sit limp in the palm of his hand as he held it out over the railing. The lingering high that still clouded his mind told him to close his fist and shove the locket back in his pocket. The longer he stood there, the more Su-bong could feel himself sobering up. His sober mind made his hand tremble, daring him to throw the necklace in the river and then jump in after it. 

Su-bong glanced past the necklace, down to the dark blue of the Han river. Even as the sunset blackened out the sky, the river was a starkly different shade of black. It dominated the darkness, hiding beneath secrets that no man had ever lived to tell. Su-bong found himself pulled toward that secretive pit. With the state his life was in, he figured diving into the endless void below him was the only productive way to drown his sorrows. There was no point in driving himself into more debt to pay for drugs when death is the strongest drug of them all. 

“Sir.”

Su-bong felt a strong hand grab onto his shoulder, pulling him back into the present moment. He jumped at the sudden movement and the necklace in his palm slipped from his grip. He clasped down onto what he hoped was the chain, but as he wiped his head back to his hand, the locket was nowhere to be seen. 

“Shit.”

“I’m sorry, did I startle you?” The stranger removed his hand from Su-bong’s shoulder, sliding it into the pocket of his slacks. 

Su-bong took a moment to acknowledge the strange man. He was dressed nicer than anyone had any business being at this time of night. In his other hand, the man held a small briefcase. Su-bong figured it couldn’t hold much more than a laptop and some books, if that. He gave the man another once-over, brows furrowed.

“I didn’t mean to alarm you.” The man continued. “I simply came to make you an offer.”

“Tch,” Su-bong rolled his eyes and turned away from the man. “I’m not interested, dude.”

“Is there a reason you haven’t jumped yet?”

Su-bong wiped his head around again. “The fuck did you just say?”

The man held his hands up with a coy smile. “Perhaps you’re waiting for someone to come change your mind, hmm? Is that it?”

“You don’t know shit about me, man.” Su-bong pressed two fingers against the man’s chest and pushed his back. 

“I know you’re different from most of the people I talk with.” The man raised his briefcase, withdrew his hand from his pocket, and opened the case. 

Faintly illuminated by the flickering lamp posts, Su-bong found himself staring down at stacks of won and two sets of ddakji tiles. Su-bong stared blankly at the cash. He knew the won in the suitcase couldn’t even pay off ten percent of his debt. Unless he could pay off all his debt at once, Su-bong knew he’d end up spending the money on drugs. And as much as he didn’t want to admit it, the drugs were simply postponing his inevitable fate at the bottom of the Han river. 

“I know that this means little to nothing to you.” The man shut the suitcase and lowered it. “You wouldn’t be standing here if you cared about a couple thousand won.”

“What’s your point?” Su-bong rubbed a hand over his face.

“What if I told you that there was a way you could make billions of won simply by playing childhood games, such as ddakji.”

Su-bong scoffed. “I’d say you’re crazier than me, bro.”

The man smiled and reached into the breast pocket of his suit jacket. He pulled out a rectangular business card and held it out. Su-bong stared down at the brown card and the three simple shapes that were printed on the top. 

“Just call the number on the back.” The man maintained eye contact, still smiling in a way that made Su-bong’s stomach turn. 

Su-bong took the card. He flipped it over and, sure enough, there was a number on the back. He glanced up at the man once more, still unsure. 

“You’re serious?”

“Very.” The man straightened out the front of his suit jacket, squared his shoulders, then stepped back. “That is all. Have a good night.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Su-bong didn’t put much emphasis behind the farewell, more focused on the vague card in his hand. 

He flipped the card between his fingers. The simple design left much to the imagination, but regardless of whether or not the strange man was telling the truth, this was definitely a second option that Su-bong now had to consider. He could either drop the card and proceed with the fate he assumed was set in stone, or he could call the number on the back of the brown rectangle and play a game with fate. 

The longer Su-bong stared down at the nondescript card, the more curious he grew. A fresh start was what he needed. If he could pay off his debt, he’d change his whole life around. He’d never indulge in any of his vices ever again. He’d use any leftover cash he had to buy his mother a nice house in the countryside. He wouldn’t expect her to take him back in, but he’d do anything in his power to give her a comfortable life in her old age. Maybe he’d go back to school, study business and settle into a corporate job like his mom always wanted. All of that sounded better than spending the rest of eternity at the base of the Han river, while his poor mother wondered what she did to raise such a worthless brat. 

Su-bong rubbed a hand over his face again. He could feel his brain pulsing against the sides of his skull, as if trying to break open and spill down his face. He squeezed his eyes shut and swore under his breath. He needed a drink, a pill, anything. All he had was a stupid business card and the vague promise of billions. Su-bong groaned, shoved the card in his pocket, then turned back toward the Dongjak district.

Gays in the Film Industry

We need more gay happy endings. I’ll just say it plainly and simply. I was talking to my gal pal about this the other day, which also means today, and we came to a realization. Every gay movie we could think of had the saddest endings. 

What’s up with that? Come on film industry! As being a proud member of the LGBTQIA+ community myself, I find this a pressing issue. Think of the children. What are all closeted or newly uncloseted people to think when they only see the grim outcomes that could plague them. It’s not fair. It’s like if all the straights had to represent them was Titanic or The Notebook. Life would seem like such a drag, and there would be no visual representation (even if fictional) of some better future. Nothing to hope for or aspire to. 

They most always have the same plot or conflict. There’s a girl one of the characters are having to act straight with, or they’re just too afraid to come out of the closet. Yes, these are  very very very serious topics that the community faces. I am in no way trying to undermine these real struggles that exist and need to be represented. Am I in the wrong here?

The film industry has made great strides in having gay and lesbian characters. I mean HEY! I gotta give credit where it’s due! But there’s usually always room to grow. If my writing teacher has taught me anything 😉   *wink wink*

But we need more. We need some nonbinary, we need some asexual, we need some everything else that isn’t gay or lesbian. I mean come on. There is a whole spectrum, yet we usually only see two parts of it. What’s up with that? Not cool. Not right…

I mean, I am a writer so I could write new inclusive stories which I just might do. Until I make it to Hollywood with my stories, I’m looking to all those other writers out there who are closer than I. Write to include all. Don’t be scared of how the public will take it. 

Here’s some recommendations of gay movies to watch by the way…if you have the free time…they may not have the happy endings but they’re pretty good 

Anyways… be wild, be free, and have fun ♥