the handmaid’s tale

so we just finished reading margaret atwood’s the handmaid’s tale in english, and boy let me tell you what a RIDE it has been. i  personally don’t really want to put myself or anyone reading this through the pain of rehashing this bleak world, but there’s little to be said about it otherwise, so here we are.

first of all, this book is sad. and not in the boo-hoo weepy way, but in the sour sinking-feeling-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach way. i never wanted to but this book down once i got into reading a section, but i also never wanted to pick it back up again after. it’s definitely something that caters to a morbid curiosity we have for chaos (among other things).

the government was massacred and completely overthrown by christian extremists, their rule gradually tightening its grip into what is now the republic of gilead. women’s value is assigned based on two things: how “morally corrupt” they are, and their ability to bear children. offred is our narrator and a handmaid, a woman whose sole function in society is to have children in a state where populations have been decimated by diseases causing death and infertility. she describes this world as she experiences it, with the occasional flashback to her life before the republic and the limbo period between that and becoming a handmaid.

we want this world to be unfathomable. we want it to be impossible. we don’t want to ever consider for a second that any aspect of this world could ever exist – this pious, totalitarian nightmare. and what’s scarier is that it could happen, that it is happening, somewhere in some way. certainly not to such extremes, but freedom is a privilege not all of us our granted. the book discusses this as well – this “freedom to” versus “freedom from.” there is a freedom to autonomy for women, but there is also a freedom from men’s unwanted attention to women; the republic has chosen the latter, and its citizens suffer for it.

i’m someone who has always been vehemently independent, and the thought of losing my autonomy (especially in such an extreme setting as this one) makes my skin crawl. this society, this world of the handmaid’s tale, is abhorrent. the thought of my existence becoming nothing more than my body is terrifying, but i cannot help but fear its possibility. sure, it’s an extreme state of mind, but in this day and age, even the ability to fear it is a virtue.

Song Review: Intro III by NF part 1

*I’m cutting this into three parts (Pun intended) because the song is fairly long.

Off the bat, the first thing I was interested in was that the song was split into “Two parts” Nathan and Nathans fear. This isn’t the first song I have seen a personification of an emotion, but this is one of the few songs which the host of said emotion actually overcomes it, though in this case, I think it was in an unhealthy way, nonetheless the emotion he possess while he’s speaking to himself is very powerful to me. Fear owns this section of the song it doesn’t matter what Nathan wants fear will always get what he wants, right?

(NF’s Fear)

What, are you scared of me? It’s embarassin’
If it wasn’t for me, you would’ve never wrote Therapy
I’ve been here for you, but how come you’re never there for me?
It’s a little bit twisted, but I miss when you and I had scary dreams

*It’s clear that Fear is a strong character that seems to take the reigns from the beginning. This to me is a way to showcase that fear is the first one to greet anyone and that it has remained close to NF throughout his life. Fear has lingered since he was a kid. 

(NF)

I don’t really wanna talk about it

*I think everyone has had an instance when they have spoken to themselves. Trying to silence the voices in their head from taking over and making themselves worse.

(NF’s Fear)

Well, that’s too bad now, Nate,

(NF)

shut up!

*Another show of force from NF even though he seems to be still playing it fairly passive at this point. He doesn’t want to listen to himself anymore but he can’t help that. he has made this fear as strong as it is now and he has to face it eventuall

 

(NF Fear)

Now where were we?                                                Way back in the day when
You and I had it all mapped out in the basement
Cryin’ in your room like a baby

*At this point, i think when fear begins to lose a bit of his hold over NF.

(NF)

I wish mom was here

*Through a majority of his songs he mentions his mother. He seems to have had a great but rocky relationship with her and seems to dedicate himself to her in a way for a source of comfort.

(NF’s Fear)

We all do so we wouldn’t have to hear about it
Every single record you don’t really wanna change me
Yeah, I’m the on that made this happen
Do you really wanna get rid of your main attraction?
Let’s pack our bags and go back to Gladwin now
Yeah, it’s time for the third record
And you know I got the content
I don’t wanna make you nervous
But it ain’t like it used to be
We got a lotta people watchin’
You told me that you don’t want me in your life
That’s pretty hard to digest
And I told you I’d leave when we die, and we ain’t died yet

*This is when I question if Fear itself is kinda regretting the fact that NF hates him? During the actual song, he seems frustrated and angry that NF refuses to accept that he is apart of his life whether he likes it or not he is him. In a way, I think Fear doesn’t want to die or be forgotten.

Therapy Session was beautiful, Nate, but I’m wonderin’ what’s comin’ next
Yeah, get that stupid hat off of your head when I’m talkin’ to you, you hear what I said

*I feel that Fear is feeling disrespected at that he’s at this point in time not being taken as seriously as he wants to be.

You don’t like the prison I built you?
Yeah, you wanna know what the funny thing is?
You keep on talkin’ to me like a stranger, but we’ve been together since you were a kid
Took us from a no-name
Told you everything was okay
Now you tryna cut me out of it like I ain’t never been a part of it
I am the heart of it, I made this whole thing

*Fear created him. Fear is what made him what he is today. is it possible to cut off parts of yourself that you don’t like? At what cost?

Yeah, I put us on the dope stage
You must have no brain
What’s the point of having guns if you can’t aim?
What’s the point of having blood with no vein?
What’s the point of having love with no pain?
What I’m sayin’ is me without you doesn’t make any sense
I know I’m intense in controlling, but you need to learn how to cope with it
That’s just the way that it is
If you didn’t want me to live in your house, you shouldn’t have let me move in

*In  Previous song Fear snuck in. NF never really intended for it to happen and that was the last time he left his “Mansion” and after that he decided to stay within the building to stop other things from getting out or getting back in.

It’s comfortable here and I like it, I got my own room and everything
It don’t get better than this!
You say you wanna own your life, then wake up and take your own advice
You just mad ’cause you know I’m right
Yeah, I’m flattered you put me in Mansion, but you should’ve told ’em right
‘Bout your hands on the coldest nights
You didn’t tell ’em ’bout the times you and I used to hold he mic
I mean, what are you, outta your mind?
‘Cause both of us will be
Come on, let’s go outside!

*Fear tries to take control again and forces NF to face his biggest challenge which is to go back outside. His biggest fear is facing the light and seeing everything that he was trying to avoid.

Is this what you wanted?
Both of us out in the open? Let’s do it then
I mean, why are you doin’ this?
I know that you’re mad, but I’m not in the mood for this
We got a record to drop
So why you actin’ like I’m not a part of it?

*Fear goes back to trying to reason with NF he wants him to see his point of view. “You need me to write. You need me to live. You need me” But forcing someone to get over their biggest fear doesn’t cripple them it makes them stronger. Fear and NF willingly/Unwillingly helped him get over his self in a way.

I’m cutting it here because the dynamic completely changes for the other parts. This song is similar to a story it has a beginning, a climax, and an end. For the beginning, I truly enjoyed the conversation and liked the insight into his two parts of himself. Fear seems humanized in a way. He isn’t this giant looming figure, he’s just a voice that taunts and picks NF apart but even Fear can be defeated in a way. Fear feels insecurities Fear even feels fear which was a breath of fresh air to witness for the next two-part i will dive into.

Boxing with Your Mom

E. Ethelbert Miller has written the piece as a block of prose, but first presents a quote:

Whoever said men
hit harder when women
are around, is right.
– Yusef Komunyakaa

After, he follows with the piece:

You push the door open not knowing
what to expect. She sits in a chair next
to her hospital bed. Just sitting. How long?
Before you can even enter the room a big
smile of recognition kisses her lips before
she kisses you. Her seamstress eyes survey
your clothes. You’re a rhinestone of a son
slipping between her shaking hands. As the
sparkle leaves her eyes she withdraws under
her hospital robe. So small she looks. So
small she is. You want to leave but you just
came. It’s just you and her. You’re overmatched.
Her moods change so quick you can’t avoid
her jabs. There’s bitterness in each blow. She
has you against the wall. You’re fighting with
her again. This is sick you say to yourself.
You want to leave but the bell never rings.
You’re trying to love her too much. You’re
losing another round.

 

I began the piece without first reading the quote that precedes it, and, after rereading the piece with the quote, I was given much more insight into the route Miller was giving his poem.

The prose is offered as an observation from the point of view of a man with his hospitalized mother. She has some sort of sickness that makes her forget things, most likely some stage of Alzheimer’s, and, instead of making her weak in this moment, Miller sort of paints her image as that of a fighter-but not a fighter against what you would initially believe.

He writes the piece as if the son and mother are fighting against one another, and for what reason? My thought is that he would do this to describe exhaustion as something more tangible, more physical.

I found the line, ‘You want to leave but the bell never rings.‘ to be very hard-hitting when paired directly after with, ‘You’re trying to love her too much.

Miller is basically saying that there are many ways to look at how this sickness is affecting everyone’s life so greatly. I could feel in my body the expression of just being over wanting to do something in this piece. Just-just being tired, you know? The feeling of exhaustion in this prose was so well-written that, even though it isn’t one of my favorites by Miller, it still stuck in my brain. He almost needed a separate sense besides the five he was given to describe the way both characters in the piece felt, and he nailed them as characters themselves.

This piece was honestly just so overwhelming. There was so much going on, and Miller added many underlying descriptions that built the characters he was talking of, for example the lines about the mother’s seamstress hands shaking, then the comparison following, talking of how her hands let the son slip- none of these descriptions were directly needed, but they added so much to the story he wove within these lines.

 

 

February Book Review

I started reading a series of books when I was in elementary/middle school that made me fall in love with books and reading. They were the only books that the author had ever released or planned on releasing, and I absolutely loved them and still love them to this day. Anyways, after all these years and thinking that I’ll never have the chance to experience this world again, he released a new and final installment to the series.

(SPOILERS KINDA)

The Fork, the Witch, and the Worm – Tales from Alagaesia was the ending to a world that you always want for a world, but you never seem to get. Christopher Paolini ended the “final” book in the series with a cliffhanger that left all of the characters across the world from each other, love stories were left unresolved, and the main character was cast out into the world alone because of a foreshadowed cryptic prophecy from book one that everyone forgot about. In my own personal opinion, it was probably one of the most infuriating series/book ending that I have ever read. After spending years falling in love with the characters and all of their separate, intricate story-lines and then pretty much having the author do that thing that some authors do where they leave the story open for the readers to imagine the ending was awful. Turning the last page of a four book series, after reading over a 1,000 pages, and turning the last page to have no closure was the worst thing that I didn’t plan on. That’s why having this extra, small book to cover the ends of the stories was almost enough to make me cry. 

Paolini began the new, bonus stories book set a year after the final installment of the original series, writing out three brand new smaller stories inside the book to clear up all of the loose ends of the original series. We’re now able to see the end of Eragon and his family and friends, bringing it all to a final point, opening the way for a whole new set of books, but it isn’t clear yet if we’ll get them or not. 

I’ve been a little vague with this book review because I am still trying to process the stories and ending of the newest book. I will say that these books are some of the most in-depth, world-building series I’ve ever read. Never have I read a series and understood the layout of the world as much as I did while reading the Eragon books. 10/10 would recommend. 

Twilight

Image result for twilight book seriesOkay guys, so i’m sure most of you, if not all of you know what Twilight is. If not, Twilight was both a book and movie series from 2005-2008. It quickly became the center of most preteen girls and boys lives. Glittering vampire, jealous werewolves, a human girl caught in the middle? What more could you ask for?

Image result for bella jacob and edward At the time, I thought Bella had the best of both worlds. Her best friend of many years, Jacob, was changing as well as beginning to develop feelings for her. But Bella had other plans. She found herself falling for a “teen” vampire who happened to be so many years older than her. She was stuck between two worlds she didn’t understand, but instead or removing herself from the clear issue at hand, she digs herself deeper into it!!

Bella decides she wants to be with Edward, the vampire, and break her best friend, Jacob’s, heart. I honestly don’t know why she thought that was a good idea but it got her into a hell of a lot of trouble!!

Edward liked Bella so much that he left just to save her from himself, but she wasn’t having that. Bella became reckless in hopes of getting Edward back, which she eventually did but only because he thought she was trying to kill her self (stupid). Honestly? The relationship was really toxic but at the time I thought her love for him was romantic. Bella was out of her mind over Edward, completely forgetting Jacob as he transitioned from boy to man and human to werewolf (what a horrible best friend). Bella was so wrapped up in Edward that I think she stopped caring about herself. Bella was absolutely the dumbest teen girl that could’ve possibly been written. Jacob was left neglected and he even became angry with Bella. Trust, I do not blame him at all!! Edward had other things to worry about, like being 100s of years old and having the Vultori look over his families shoulder. But he had to subject himself to looking after some human girl who threw a hissy fit at the slightest inconvenience. Some time later in the series we see Bella bond with Edward’s family and they begin to protect her as one of their own, but she said shunned by the wolves. I don’t blame them either, you pick a side and you stay there you know? Bella even wants to pursue a sexual relationship with Edward, even after he tells her he could KILL her. But again, silly Bella is a self satisfying idiot. Eventually, Bella things go from good to bad and Bella is now being hunted by a super nasty vampire named Victoria, which makes the Cullen (Edward’s family) protect her. Their lives soon become centered around Bella and she claims she doesn’t want the attention, yet she’s always in the middle of mischief. Bella Swan is in fact, an idiot. Why couldn’t that have been me in a love triangle with a vampire and werewolf? I would’ve played my cards right.

Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven

Well hello there, stranger. It’s been a while since I’ve posted ( my own fault, procrastination is my biggest flaw).  So last time on Tyler Reviews Literary Pieces, I reviewed the second installment on a manga series that I am reading. However, I’m broke so now I’m reviewing ebooks I got for free on the google play store.

So The Raven is arguably Poe’s most famous piece. Actually, it isn’t even an arguable opinion. It is his most infamous piece and everyone has probably read it at one point or another. And if you haven’t, you should  because I hate to be wrong.

The Raven is basically a conversation between the “I” and a raven (a very large crow). In which, the “I” is paranoid and distraught, and the raven does nothing to ease his suffering.

Poe published this narrative poem in January of 1845 so there are a lot of “old english” bits. For example, “But, with mein of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door…”

So if you can’t understand what he means I’d suggest having google open whilest you read, or better yet, struggle through like the rest of us.

Anyways, so this is the poem from which we get “Quoth the raven, ‘Nevermore.'” This quote can be found throughout the poem as everytime the narrator speaks to the raven the only response he receives is “Nevermore.”

I won’t go much further into the story because seriously if you’ve never read it or listened to it, you should do that. Better yet, read or listen to all of his works.

So until next time, where I will give another rushed (or maybe not) literary review. Goodnight, internet (or good morning i guess). Actually, never mind. Bye.

 

Book Review

Fahrenheit 451 revolved around a dystopian future where all media was controlled and written literature is banned.  Firemen now possess the job of obtaining and disposing of written literature, and then burning down the house of who had the literature.

The story is about a fireman named Guy Montag who comes into possession of books.  Through interactions with a new neighbor and an old man he met in a park, he discovers the power of literature and finds himself curious as to why the society wants to control it.  One of the key pieces of literature was a King James version of the Bible.  The old man, Faber, used to be a connoisseur of literature.  Guy implores that he help him keep the books that he has taken in secrecy.  Guy is faced with an interesting relationship conflict with his boss, Captain Beatty.  Beatty has employed the use of a robotic dog with venomous fangs.  This dog can hunt down any human by smell.

The neighbor, Clarisse McClellan, was the moral compass.  She died early on, leaving Guy in an internal conflict.  It revolved around the power of literature.  After Guy’s wife ratted him out, Beatty and the rest of the firemen crew hunt down Guy.  He wound up killing Beatty in a heart-wrenching scene and fleeing with some of his books to Faber, who helped him escape the robotic dog.

The robotic dog, while tracking Guy, could not reach him due to Guy being swept down a river.  He then killed a random person, and they pinned it all on him.  Guy then found himself wondering through the wilderness in search of a place that can harbor literature.  He found a group of homeless people who store literature in their minds rather than in print.  Not long after this discovery, the city that Guy fled from is bombed, leaving Guy with his newfound group exploring the enlightenment of literature.

The relationships were complex and thoroughly heartfelt.  The social commentary on how people are so influenced to fight without a cause was tantalizing, and the power of knowledge was evident throughout the book.  Without books and therefore the power of knowledge, the society was left struggling with no way to fight.  Instead, they were easily corrupted to fight against something that they didn’t even really understand.

The only criticism I would have is that the book was hard to read.  It was condensed, and I could only read sections at a time.  However, it was a fantastic story.  The fact that it was told from the point of view from one of the firemen, and not simply a good character who never burned a book, was my favorite part.  Our main character was a part of the problem.  His journey and moral quandaries were what drove this book to be as great as it is.

Surf’s Up by The Beach Boys Lyrical Review Part II

“Take Good Care of Your Feet”

I’m almost unsure how to even approach this song’s lyrics.  They are simply so absurd that I can’t reasonably be upset with them or even disappointed.  Where “Long Promised Road” seems to shoot for the stars and stumbled somewhere along the way, this song is aiming somewhere else entirely.

“Long Promised Road” almost feels like you’ve been offered authentic Italian food and then being given an amateur cook’s first attempt at spaghetti; meanwhile, this song is more like being offered a vanilla Big Mac by a guy holding a Burger King bag, and before you can confusedly ask, “What?” he drops the bag, and a cat runs out of it and into an alleyway.  The thing is, a cat is a good pet, but it surely isn’t a vanilla Big Mac, whatever that would be.  This is a good song, but you’d be lying if you said you were expecting it based on the last two songs from the album.

To fans that followed The Beach Boys through the post-Pet Sounds sixties and into the early 70’s, this song may not be so much of a surprise.  It is actually rather reminiscent of some of the songs from Smiley Smile, particularly songs like “She’s Goin Bald” and “Vegetables.” (both excellent songs by the way.)  This song would fit in perfectly with those on that album, but it’s not on that album; it’s here on Surf’s Up which has so far failed to truly establish an identity for itself.  It’s almost astonishing to think that just a few years ago, this very same band had put out Pet Sounds, one of the greatest and earliest concept albums in all of pop music.

“Take Good Care of Your Feet” doesn’t fit in among the other songs of the album, but that’s hardly its fault.  Let’s take a look at the song itself to see if it warrants almost giving its listeners whiplash for a second time now after dropping their needle on this confused record.  Thankfully, I can say that it does manage to stand on its own two feet (pun intended) despite the album’s identity crisis and it’s own inherent oddness.  Listening to it, I can’t help but think about Brian Wilson’s personal obsession with health during the time he worked on Smile and wonder if it influenced this song in anyway.

Perhaps, this is a cautionary tale from Wilson’s perspective who was not left in good shape himself by the end of the decade.  Maybe it really is just a weird song about feet that Wilson, Al Jardine, and Gary Winfrey thought would be funny.  Either way, I have a soft spot for it.  The lyrics feel very earnest.  I believe that this narrator really does rub his feet with avocado cream.  I believe that he wants me to as well.  For that, I admittedly do like this very weird song.

7.5/10

 

This Is Love? How Strange

Everyone has been talking about Call Me By Your Name since it was published/released as a movie, and I think I went into reading it with too high of hopes. (Or, quite possibly, I just don’t understand love like the author does.)

It was incredibly hard to read through the first chapter, even though both the main character and love interest were introduced within the first ten pages. The entirety of the book felt to me a bit rushed, but at the same time, it took way too long to get to the meat of the story.

There were very beautiful lines in this book that created interesting characters, and the word choice was not what I would have chosen, but it definitely added to the piece. However, the lines were all dragged out, and I felt as though Andre Aciman (the author) could have given me some shorter lines so my brain had time to breathe in  between sentences.

I hate this, but I also skipped over a few pages at times and still understood the story, and I wish certain parts were not included. I don’t want to give spoiler alerts, so I’m not going to, but any parts that were about Elio, the main character, considering his love for Oliver were my favorite. They showed how unreliable he was as a first-person character, as well as the confusion and wishy-washy reactions to falling in love with Oliver.

I was actually very uneasy about the age-gap between both characters. (Oliver was 24 and Elio, 17.) That was something that I found very threatening, almost, and I was shocked to see how Aciman decided to go about handling it. That beingsaid, the ties the two had in religion were interesting. I still don’t know how I feel about it, but whatever.

The setting really did wonders for the growth in love in this piece. I do not think this piece would have been as successful in any other setting. The life Andre Aciman gave this small town was wild, the fragrances, foods, and style was something that kept me wanting to read. Having the ocean in this piece also gave a heavy, pulling feeling to my gut. It definitely was one of the most sensory aspect that painted a great picture in my head of setting.

The way this was written makes the book timeless. If you took out the small parts with technology and recent news, the piece could’ve been created a few years back or a hundred. The timelessness was also one of the most incredible aspects to this piece that drew me in. Andre Aciman is a peculiar writer to me, and I still don’t necessarily understand the love wholly in the book, but I did enjoy it and want to further study the piece.

Stop Doing this to Me, I Don’t Want to Like Your Work

I think I am going to read this piece for the November Coffeehouse, part because I am still searching for a poem that deals with time and is also something I can relate to.

Charles Bukowski always has a way of making me come back to his work, no matter his reputation and personality. (He’s kind of trashy, etc. etc.) I feel grounded in his poetry, in all of his pieces actually-this one is just something I felt the need to unpack and smear the personal revelations I understood from it into the blog-sphere.

Why does he do this to me? Why, “every day should be a miracle instead of a machination.”

First of all, is “machination” even a word? And secondly, my guts are sore from aching all the god-damn time, Mr. Bukowski, these lines are just too powerful for me.

The poem is real, it’s beautiful-I love it because of it’s authenticity. Realness is something I yearn to find in my own writing. It is something I haven’t discovered in my youth, and hope to find as I continue my life into adulthood and stop mooching themes from other authors.

I don’t think Charles Bukowski mooches as much as the rest of us do. I think he was born into the world an old, tired man, and all of his ideas are his own-they are impenetrable.

He titles the piece: FINGERNAILS; NOSTRILS; SHOELACES

he then begins a life-within-a-life story, some parts choppy, but all centering back to a central theme that can be found at the beginning, middle, and especially end of the poem.

The meat of this poem:

“it’s not so much that nothing means anything but more that it keeps meaning nothing.”

I love and hate his self-awareness and reflection at times. I love and hate having to grapple with my own image after reading these lines. This poem requires that I try and I give up all at once; it gives me a hundred headaches with each syllable. Love and hate, but mostly hard work, are needed here.

“such a sadness: everything trying to break into blossom.”

he is talking of horses being released from their shoots during a race, so too is he referring to himself and me and whoever else wants to existentialize horse races.

There is something soft-footed about his lines, something that wants to be heavy but cannot for the moment seem to find grounding. It makes me thoughtful, it makes my own body feel it’s weight instead of the words.

The poem almost makes up for Bukowski being such a s****y man. (I said almost.)

“the more people say, the less there is to say.”

You said it, Mr. Bukowski.