I feel as if my whole existence is one big fail-safe mechanism.<\/p>\n
I am a walking, living, breathing, mess of a person. It’s very blatant, and honestly every single person that has met me knows this. I’m a long limb-ed catastrophe.\u00a0 I always seem to get myself into stick situations and am somehow always shaking like a chihuahua at any given moment. Don’t bother asking me why because I never ever know why I’m shaking. Even when I’m not nervous, I’m shaking. It’s quite the problem.<\/p>\n
ANYWAYS! I’ve noticed that my resting state is kind of just a constant, on edge, nervousness. So, as anyone WOULD think, if I were to get particularly nervous, it’d be awful. Like MEGA MEGA MEGA MEGA nervous. The opposite. I get care-free and pumped and hyped, even if I should be nervous. It’s like my fight or flight response shuts off. It’s the stupidest thing. What’s even STUPIDER is that when I shouldn’t be nervous, I am. Let me tell you all about the time I got fitted for contacts.<\/p>\n
So, I march my merry way to the eye doctor, because I’ve decided I want contacts. Me and my dad get there, and I notice I’m a lil’ anxious, but after all I always am. I get a little nervous every time at the eye doctor. I hate the eye puff blowy thing because it scares me. But! I prevail and get it over with, and everything is fine and dandy, right? W r o n g. We go through some more tests and the nice eye doctor with a Minnesota accent goes, “Okay, I’m going to put some numbing drops in your eyes so the contact is easier to get in.”<\/p>\n
In my head I’m like, “Okay, that doesn’t sound so bad, maybe just a little weird.” I take my glasses off, let him put the numbing drops in, and they settle. In the next couple of moments, I realize I no longer have control of my eyes, and this sets my body off. When I pass out, my vision will start going yellow before I lose consciousness. So here I am, vision completely yellow, consciousness hazy. At this point I don’t think the eye doctor or my dad can tell, so the eye doctor goes “Which one looks better, one or two.” And me being the nervous person I am, I don’t want to tell the eye doctor I’m about to pass out, so I say, “I can’t see.” And he just thinks it’s too blurry so he changes the slide once more and says, “What about now?” and then I proceed to say, “I can’t see anything.”<\/p>\n
This is the moment where I think they realized, and they tried to get me up and into the waiting room, but as soon as they stood me up my head lolled forward and I dropped my phone.<\/p>\n
You might be asking, “Now Emerson, why did you pass out in the nice Minnesota man’s optometrist office?” I was asking myself the same question. So I come to clarity, my vision is clear now, I’m shaking violently, but I’m conscious.<\/p>\n
Wanna know why I passed out? My fight or flight response kicked in, so my blood pressure bottomed out too fast and that’s why I passed out. I WAS NOT NERVOUS, BUT MY BODY THOUGHT IT SHOULD BE SO IT MADE ME PASS OUT.<\/p>\n
I swear, this fail-safe mechanism does NOT work in my favor. Now my mom even has to tell my dentist, “Watch out for her, she’s a fainter.”<\/p>\n
If my body doesn’t figure out what it’s doing soon I’ll be m a d\u00a0 m a d.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I feel as if my whole existence is one big fail-safe mechanism. fail-safe \/\u02c8f\u0101l \u02c8\u02ccs\u0101f\/ adjective a system or plan that comes into operation in the event of something going wrong or that is there to prevent such an occurrence. “the secondary safety system is indeed a fail-safe” I am a walking, living, breathing, mess … Continue reading “fail-safe”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5754"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/33"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5754"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5754\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5787,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5754\/revisions\/5787"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5754"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5754"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5754"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}