{"id":5273,"date":"2019-01-30T13:19:37","date_gmt":"2019-01-30T19:19:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/?p=5273"},"modified":"2019-01-30T13:19:37","modified_gmt":"2019-01-30T19:19:37","slug":"happy-near-adulthood-to-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/2019\/01\/30\/happy-near-adulthood-to-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Happy Near-Adulthood to Me."},"content":{"rendered":"

Soon, and by soon I mean literally when this blog posts, I’ll be 17. That’s entirely too old for me, haha. In all honesty, I’m not ready. I grew up thinking that I’d stay a child forever but after January 30th, I’ll have only a year left until adulthood. I feel terrible that I’m dreading it. Every year I seem to get more anxious once my birthday comes around and it’s hitting me so hard now. How am I supposed to process this? It’s really crazy to me. I’ve always had an irrational fear of the future. I can’t think about it much without going into a wild panic attack or worrying too much. Adulthood has always been my biggest fear. Now, it’s staring me dead in my face, beckoning me to come towards it and accept it. I probably sound silly but I am genuinely terrified. With age comes so much responsibility and even though my mom has prepared me for that moment, I still don’t know if I can really do that. I’m constantly wondering where I’m going to be in the future or what I’ll be doing. I want to be traveling, going places like Japan and Amsterdam and Australia. I want to live somewhere in Montreal or Quebec, Canada. I want to be able to stay happy with my life and still be able to provide for myself. However, I’m so afraid that those things won’t become possible. It’s crossed my mind so many times that I may just have to settle for some type of mediocre job and that I won’t achieve genuine happiness and I promise that that thought alone is enough to send me into a panic. It sucks when people tell me I should be happier to celebrate my birthday and I am happy because I made another year but it’s so hard for me to enjoy it completely due to that looming fear that’s been shoved to the back of my head so many times. Love that. Happy birthday to me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Soon, and by soon I mean literally when this blog posts, I’ll be 17. That’s entirely too old for me, haha. In all honesty, I’m not ready. I grew up thinking that I’d stay a child forever but after January 30th, I’ll have only a year left until adulthood. I feel terrible that I’m dreading … Continue reading “Happy Near-Adulthood to Me.”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5273"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/37"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5273"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5273\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5298,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5273\/revisions\/5298"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5273"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5273"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5273"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}