{"id":5059,"date":"2019-01-09T08:42:55","date_gmt":"2019-01-09T14:42:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/?p=5059"},"modified":"2019-01-09T08:42:55","modified_gmt":"2019-01-09T14:42:55","slug":"lets-hope-this-works","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/2019\/01\/09\/lets-hope-this-works\/","title":{"rendered":"Let’s Hope This Works"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have a terrible habit of being terrible. <\/span><\/p>\n

I feel like that was an attention grabbing sentence for a post that is supposed to inspire and drive people to do better things, or maybe I’m wrong and it was just awful- you see what I’m talking about?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This last year, starting around this time, I decided to change how I was looking at things in my life. I had a tendency to look towards the worst-case scenario in anything I did, whether it be my writing or everyday tasks like going to Walmart.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This sounds like the most clich\u00e9\u00a0thing I have ever written, but I feel like maybe it’s supposed to be. Mrs. Sibley said that if we cringed when thinking about writing something inspirational then her lecture was needed. I won’t say I cringed, it was more of an internal moan that is still echoing around in my rib-cage. I try to do the best that I can in any given situation, but sometimes I get distracted by what hasn’t even happened yet, and will probably not happen anyways.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I mentioned my trips to Walmart earlier, and I want to touch back on that subject. I can’t stand going to Walmart for the sole reason that there is a 95% chance that I will see someone I know there. My secret wish is that one day MSA will magically teleport to somewhere other than Brookhaven (which happens to be where I’m from), so I can just be surrounded by strangers. BUT, this goes along with my own personal journey of making my own life more enjoyable and easier to live. I’ve decided I can’t be scared anymore. I have to realize that things might not go my way, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t change them to.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I took a trip over Christmas break to a place that I have horrible memories of. I have not been there since the terrible things happened, and I was terrified. By the time I got there I felt like I needed another shower and change of clothes because I had sweat so much (sorry for the TMI). As my mom and I were driving into the city, and I was so very close to crying, I made up my mind. I will not and refuse to be controlled by things that have hurt me in the past. I cannot think about them daily and have my dreams filled with what-ifs and if only I had.\u00a0<\/em>That’s no way to go about living- because it’s not really living at all. It’s being thrown around by\u00a0 the outcomes of your past while ignoring the fact that you have control over your future.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I will not say that I am perfect. I have days that I struggle to do simple and ordinary things without having some sort of negative thought or action towards the task. I’m working on how people see me (although if we’re honest, I don’t care how people see me). I want to be known for my kindness and understanding. This is something I have the most work to do on, because I was raised a certain way, and it is proving difficult to change that part of myself. But the most important thing is that I am\u00a0<\/em><\/span>working on it, and I’m trying to better myself for the good of me and the people around me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have a terrible habit of being terrible. I feel like that was an attention grabbing sentence for a post that is supposed to inspire and drive people to do better things, or maybe I’m wrong and it was just awful- you see what I’m talking about?\u00a0 This last year, starting around this time, I … Continue reading “Let’s Hope This Works”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5059"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5059"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5059\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5154,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5059\/revisions\/5154"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5059"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5059"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5059"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}