{"id":4619,"date":"2018-10-24T08:28:32","date_gmt":"2018-10-24T13:28:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/?p=4619"},"modified":"2018-10-24T08:28:32","modified_gmt":"2018-10-24T13:28:32","slug":"first-and-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/2018\/10\/24\/first-and-now\/","title":{"rendered":"First and Now"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

every moment I held your hand<\/span><\/p>\n

whether it be in the literal sense<\/span><\/p>\n

or the figurative<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

the dancing I made you do<\/span><\/p>\n

that you loved<\/span><\/p>\n

but never admitted<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

every smile, <\/span>laugh, and kiss we shared<\/span><\/p>\n

all the truths I whispered to you<\/span><\/p>\n

that you never believed<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

our lives before each other<\/span><\/p>\n

and the tales we shared<\/span><\/p>\n

trusting someone for the first time<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

our youth<\/span><\/p>\n

the story of first loves<\/span><\/p>\n

the passion that bubbled beneath our young flesh<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

the dreams we shared<\/span><\/p>\n

the plans we had<\/span><\/p>\n

the promises we made<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

the scars and the tears<\/span><\/p>\n

that still stain our skin<\/span><\/p>\n

that we hate but never want to lose<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

your options<\/span><\/p>\n

that you explored<\/span><\/p>\n

Leaving me to await your return<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

me tearing you down<\/span><\/p>\n

for letting me down<\/span><\/p>\n

and leaving us both in tears<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

The confidence that we grew<\/span><\/p>\n

and destroyed<\/span><\/p>\n

which we needed, but could not hold on to<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is f0r<\/span><\/p>\n

the feelings that we did not understand<\/span><\/p>\n

but pretended to<\/span><\/p>\n

as they began to consume us<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

last kisses on an old couch<\/span><\/p>\n

but not knowing how final<\/span><\/p>\n

it really was this time<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

the words we screamed<\/span><\/p>\n

but did not mean<\/span><\/p>\n

the pain I felt when you left… again<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

begging you<\/span><\/p>\n

to come back<\/span><\/p>\n

until the day came I no longer wanted that<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

the years that were not wasted<\/span><\/p>\n

but encompassed with so much<\/span><\/p>\n

loving betrayal<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

trying to be friends<\/span><\/p>\n

but failing<\/span><\/p>\n

and giving up<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

seeing each other<\/span><\/p>\n

after <\/span>all had ended<\/span><\/p>\n

and the infiltration of wonder<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

the possibilities<\/span><\/p>\n

of what we could have been<\/span><\/p>\n

but never will become<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

who we are now<\/span><\/p>\n

and all the ways we have grown<\/span><\/p>\n

all the ways we have weakened<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

kissing someone else<\/span><\/p>\n

that sour taste left in my mouth<\/span><\/p>\n

that I eventually craved<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

the second loves<\/span><\/p>\n

and moving on<\/span><\/p>\n

but never forgetting<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is for<\/span><\/p>\n

the phrase “I am not in love with you,<\/span><\/p>\n

but I will always love you.”<\/span><\/p>\n

My first love, forevermore<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is for every moment I held your hand whether it be in the literal sense or the figurative   This is for the dancing I made you do that you loved but never admitted   This is for every smile, laugh, and kiss we shared all the truths I whispered to you that you … Continue reading “First and Now”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":35,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4619"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/35"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4619"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4619\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4622,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4619\/revisions\/4622"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4619"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4619"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4619"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}