Sometimes, I look back and remember what it was like to be a child. First crushes, first time holding hands because I thought I was old enough to be in a relationship, first best friend, first favorite and least favorite teacher. This was the time to figure what subjects I enjoyed the most, and I started showing my parents how to write my name because I wasn’t old enough to understand that they already knew how to spell my name. It took me until fourth grade to learn my middle name. I was smart, but I could never figure out the small\u00a0 things. That hasn’t changed.<\/p>\n
I really miss those days. They were so simple. Homework took fifteen minutes, the worst a guy could do to you was wipe his snot on your favorite jacket. College was just a word, not yet your future, and all you wanted to do was grow up. I’ve been in a nostalgic rut. I’m always thinking about what could have been if my childhood would have played out differently. If I chose different friends. If I didn’t take things so seriously. If I didn’t carry my heart on my sleeve. I wonder who I would be if I didn’t throw that third place pageant trophy out the window, or If I got back on that horse after it threw me off. It makes me sad, not knowing. What if my firsts weren’t my firsts. What if I had loved different people. What if that strawberry blonde friend of mine didn’t leave.<\/p>\n
The important thing is though, and I am coming to realize this, I can take these “what ifs” and use them as inspiration, but I cannot mourn something that never happened. it is important to appreciate, amongst the questions, the facts. The childhood that I had was beautiful, and it made me who I am. I am beautiful, strong, intelligent, and talented. Yeah, I could possibly be a cowgirl or a pageant queen. There are an infinite amount of maybes out there, but I deeply love who I am, and I’m pretty proud that all my choices made me a writer.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Sometimes, I look back and remember what it was like to be a child. First crushes, first time holding hands because I thought I was old enough to be in a relationship, first best friend, first favorite and least favorite teacher. This was the time to figure what subjects I enjoyed the most, and I … Continue reading “What I Could Have Been”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":35,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4363"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/35"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4363"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4363\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5217,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4363\/revisions\/5217"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4363"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4363"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4363"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}