{"id":4319,"date":"2018-09-27T09:30:53","date_gmt":"2018-09-27T14:30:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/?p=4319"},"modified":"2018-09-27T09:30:53","modified_gmt":"2018-09-27T14:30:53","slug":"the-lipstick","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/2018\/09\/27\/the-lipstick\/","title":{"rendered":"the lipstick."},"content":{"rendered":"

My knight in shining armor left me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was no princess to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Just a washed up version,<\/span><\/p>\n

of a girl locked in the tower of her spiraling mind.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019ve turned this hotel bathroom into my new oasis.<\/span><\/p>\n

The place where I presume to gather my thoughts,<\/span><\/p>\n

but I\u2019m doing nothing of that sort.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m just making it worse.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I looked up to see the reflection,<\/span><\/p>\n

of a girl I once had overflowing love for.<\/span><\/p>\n

I now see her dark makeup running down her blush cheeks,<\/span><\/p>\n

and smeared lipstick creeping down her chin.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I started crying even harder because I knew I looked hideous.<\/span><\/p>\n

I knew he left in his maroon colored getaway car.<\/span><\/p>\n

Simply because I could never be good enough.<\/span><\/p>\n

and I never would be.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019ll never have silky blonde hair and ocean blue eyes,<\/span><\/p>\n

like the girl he chose.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019d trade my dull hair and basic eyes,<\/span><\/p>\n

Anyday for a fraction of what she has.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLook at you.<\/span><\/p>\n

Your hair isn\u2019t straight.<\/span><\/p>\n

Your face is too round.<\/span><\/p>\n

Too chubby.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You\u2019ll never succeed at that prestigious school,<\/span><\/p>\n

With thousands of academic driven people.<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019ll only be lonely,<\/span><\/p>\n

because everyone who meets you, ends up leaving you.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I take my bright, red lipstick from my golden clutch.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s in a white, cylinder shaped tube,<\/span><\/p>\n

marked with the name \u201cTo Be Beautiful.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

and god, did I believe it would.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I start to smear it on my large lips,<\/span><\/p>\n

because with it,<\/span><\/p>\n

i\u2019m not as awful as I was without it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I felt a little more approachable.<\/span><\/p>\n

I felt less horrid.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After I rubbed it into my chapped lips,<\/span><\/p>\n

I looked into the mirror once more.<\/span><\/p>\n

I began to cry even harder,<\/span><\/p>\n

smearing it all over my porcelain face.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Next thing I know,<\/span><\/p>\n

My fist is smashing the dirty mirror,<\/span><\/p>\n

Over and over again.<\/span><\/p>\n

I let out a loud scream,<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure if it was out of physical or mental pain,<\/span><\/p>\n

or both.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I slid down the wall with my knees in front of me,<\/span><\/p>\n

my blush pink dress that my mother spent a fortune on,<\/span><\/p>\n

was now covered in red lipstick,<\/span><\/p>\n

and hurtful tears.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I sit there for a moment wondering what I\u2019m doing.<\/span><\/p>\n

Why I\u2019m here.<\/span><\/p>\n

What I should be doing.<\/span><\/p>\n

What my true purpose is.<\/span><\/p>\n

I get no answer in return.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Almost instantly, a majestic figure appears,<\/span><\/p>\n

on the green sofa in the corner of the bathroom.<\/span><\/p>\n

She was angelic and mystical.<\/span><\/p>\n

Frightened, I move away from her.<\/span><\/p>\n

She stopped me and told me to calm down.<\/span><\/p>\n

She told me I was safe.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLook at you, my beautiful one,<\/span><\/p>\n

Your hair\u2019s a mess, and your dress is rugged.<\/span><\/p>\n

And what have you done with that red paint of yours?<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh, and your hand, your delicate hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I looked down at my hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

There was no scars.<\/span><\/p>\n

No blood.<\/span><\/p>\n

It looked perfectly normal.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho are you?\u201d I ask in shock.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI am Aphrodite, goddess of love.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m here to show you what you aren\u2019t seeing.<\/span><\/p>\n

Give you a new set of eyes for a minute.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Come with me and you will see.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I hesitated, but carried on with her.<\/span><\/p>\n

I walked into the pink portal that she came from.<\/span><\/p>\n

Almost instantly, we were out of this world.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It\u2019s green all around,<\/span><\/p>\n

with white skies and dandelions.<\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s one tree in the distance.<\/span><\/p>\n

I see a girl sitting on a swing made from rope and wood.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She is beautiful and devine.<\/span><\/p>\n

She has long, dark locks of smooth hair.<\/span><\/p>\n

And the whitest skin you\u2019d ever see.<\/span><\/p>\n

She had moviestar looks with sharp cheekbones.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I ran towards her, and realized that the girl was me.<\/span><\/p>\n

She was wearing my prom dress,<\/span><\/p>\n

And the diamond ring Daddy gave me.<\/span><\/p>\n

She was gorgeous.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was gorgeous.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve given you eyes of another.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve let you see yourself away from your prospective,<\/span><\/p>\n

to show you just how stunning you truly are,<\/span><\/p>\n

Behind your eyes that have become scars.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Millie, you may not see it with your own,<\/span><\/p>\n

but you are one of a kind.<\/span><\/p>\n

No one can ever take that away from you, unless you let them,<\/span><\/p>\n

But if you don\u2019t, you will see this, too.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You will succeed in this short life of yours.<\/span><\/p>\n

Even in the next and the next.<\/span><\/p>\n

You will become even more great than you already are,<\/span><\/p>\n

and everyone will recognize this.<\/span><\/p>\n

You possess the power to become more successful that you could ever imagined.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And you are lovely, child.<\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t let your mind tell you otherwise,<\/span><\/p>\n

The truth is, you are your own worst enemy.<\/span><\/p>\n

The cause of all your lies and cries.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI am gorgeous, and I\u2019ll never forget it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll treat myself the way she deserves,<\/span><\/p>\n

Never letting myself see otherwise.<\/span><\/p>\n

My name is Millie and I am beautiful.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Next thing I know I\u2019m in my room.<\/span><\/p>\n

With string lights on the walls,<\/span><\/p>\n

And Polaroids of me taken from a distance.<\/span><\/p>\n

My dress is clean, <\/span><\/p>\n

My hand is healed.<\/span><\/p>\n

I feel at peace.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I get up and walk towards the tall mirror by my closet.<\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s a note in the corner.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMillie, never forget, darling. Never forget.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I put the note away.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I then flip the mirror over to where it\u2019s facing the wall.<\/span><\/p>\n

I cover my vanity and bathroom mirror,<\/span><\/p>\n

with towels from our linen closet.<\/span><\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t going to let myself forget.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I go across the room to get my blue Polaroid.<\/span><\/p>\n

I put the film in and turn it towards me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I snap a picture of myself.<\/span><\/p>\n

This time my face is closer to the camera.<\/span><\/p>\n

I hang it with the rest of the pictures,<\/span><\/p>\n

Then lie my head down to rest.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Months go by like hours.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m now moving into my dorm,<\/span><\/p>\n

about to embark on a journey that will shape my life.<\/span><\/p>\n

An amazing adventure that will help me find myself.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I open up a box labeled \u201cjunk.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sitting on top of a silk, black scarf is the tube of red lipstick.<\/span><\/p>\n

I look at it, observing the grooves in it.<\/span><\/p>\n

The name I believed rang true.<\/span><\/p>\n

I let out a sigh.<\/span><\/p>\n

And toss it into the trash along with a pile of mirrors I once had.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My knight in shining armor left me. I was no princess to him. Just a washed up version, of a girl locked in the tower of her spiraling mind.   I\u2019ve turned this hotel bathroom into my new oasis. The place where I presume to gather my thoughts, but I\u2019m doing nothing of that sort. … Continue reading “the lipstick.”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":41,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4319"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/41"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4319"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4319\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4330,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4319\/revisions\/4330"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4319"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4319"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4319"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}