{"id":3823,"date":"2018-08-29T12:22:38","date_gmt":"2018-08-29T17:22:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/?p=3823"},"modified":"2018-08-29T12:22:38","modified_gmt":"2018-08-29T17:22:38","slug":"i-still-want-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/2018\/08\/29\/i-still-want-you\/","title":{"rendered":"I Still Want You"},"content":{"rendered":"

Who? Who are you? You are not the same person I talked to, in the beginning. I told you I did not want to hurt anymore. Yet, you did just that. I know you understood what I said because you claimed to have felt the exact same way. That means part of what you said was a lie. Not knowing who I am, I still want you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What? What is this I feel? My heart is beating fast, my hands are shaking, and tears are rolling down my face.\u00a0 It is getting out of hand and I cannot control it. It only happens when you come around. I am legitimately scared of what will happen next. I am scared of you. More intensely though, I am scared of myself.\u00a0 One day I will learn though. Still not knowing what I feel, I still want you.<\/span><\/p>\n

When? When did this happen? It started out so innocent, then so messy, now so vicious. I am trying to keep the darkest parts of me locked away, but the more I am around you, the more I long for you. I got so caught in our conversations that I lost track of the time. Now, there are these endless thoughts of you that I cannot get rid of. You had me at, “Wassup, you good?” Right then, I knew it was over. You had me up all night thinking of all the great times we would share. Now that you have walked away, I am up all night thinking what did I do? It had to have been my fault, it always is. And not knowing when the right time is, I still want you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Where? Where was I? So many feelings transpired, so fast. I could not have been there, because I did not feel them until now. Say it loud, say it clear. I was not myself then and I am most definitely not myself now. The difference is, then, I was happy. Now, I am bitter. My bitterness has overtaken my spirit. I have not learned how to suppress these feelings. Therefore, you will always be that negative thought that ruins my day. Even not knowing where I was, I still want you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Why? Why me? Why did I have to be your next victim? Why would you drag my feelings through the dirt ? Why would you admit your wrong doings, like it means nothing? Why would you caress my mind, my soul, and my body, then just walk away? Why did I fall for it? Why did I not recognize your “typical boy” behaviors? Most of all, why did I not do the same to you? Yet and still not knowing why me, I still want you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Who? Who are you? You are not the same person I talked to, in the beginning. I told you I did not want to hurt anymore. Yet, you did just that. I know you understood what I said because you claimed to have felt the exact same way. That means part of what you said … Continue reading “I Still Want You”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":36,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3823"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/36"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3823"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3823\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3951,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3823\/revisions\/3951"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3823"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3823"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3823"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}