This is my first post on this blog. There’s a lot of expectations for doing something the “first time,” whether by someone else or yourself.<\/p>\n
Part of me is worried; I feel like I’ll start thinking too much and then I’ll never have this post done.<\/p>\n
But another part of me is just telling me to go for it- to cast all my worries and doubts and anxiety aside and just do what I need to do.<\/p>\n
Every day can be a struggle for someone like me. I care too much, yet I care too little as well. Does that make any sort of sense? I don’t really know.<\/p>\n
But I’ve gotten off track. Like I always do with these kinds of things. I end up getting sidetracked by a tangent, and then I don’t remember what I was talking about in the first place. Right now is a prime example, really. I started off by voicing my concerns for having too much expectations for myself.<\/p>\n
I feel like I think myself in circles. If I start thinking about my anxiety, I start focusing on it, and that just makes me more anxious. My expectations are too high for myself, I suppose. Or maybe they’re not high enough.<\/p>\n
I could talk about all the times that I’ve had to things for the first time, or talk about all the times I’ve had too high expectations for myself; but I would just be distracting myself, and those who are reading this.<\/p>\n
I don’t know.<\/p>\n
I just want to remind myself that it’s okay to be anxious about doing something for the first time. That everyone feels this kind of anxiety at one point or another- that every person on the earth has had expectations put on themselves by others, or even themselves, like I do so often. I tell myself these things all the time, but I have a hard time listening to myself, even on my “good” days when my anxiety has thankfully left me alone for a little while.<\/p>\n
I feel like I don’t listen to myself way too much for my own good. I tell myself, “Hey, you need to get up and go do things that are important,” but I usually end up ignoring it and then I’m rushing to go out the door in the morning. Maybe that’s the root of my anxiety. Maybe it’s just because I have a hard time doing things that are healthy for me to do. Maybe it’s all because I can’t just tell myself to not worry so much.<\/p>\n
Or maybe it’s something I couldn’t escape, even if I tried.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This is my first post on this blog. There’s a lot of expectations for doing something the “first time,” whether by someone else or yourself. Part of me is worried; I feel like I’ll start thinking too much and then I’ll never have this post done. But another part of me is just telling me … Continue reading “First”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[50,48,49],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3582"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/38"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3582"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3582\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3609,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3582\/revisions\/3609"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3582"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3582"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3582"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}