{"id":23703,"date":"2026-08-26T09:56:00","date_gmt":"2026-08-26T14:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/?p=23703"},"modified":"2026-08-27T09:58:43","modified_gmt":"2026-08-27T14:58:43","slug":"fillers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/2026\/08\/26\/fillers\/","title":{"rendered":"Fillers"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n
\n

Just because yesterday is your tomorrow<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Does not mean i need to keep you company <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the dismal illusion that is your reality<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can\u2019t you understand?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want out<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your greed is not my token<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your anger is but a spout<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my ocean<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You scream, a shrill, ear-piercing screech<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Telling me to leave<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then once i am out of reach<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Out of your condescending, over-bearing grasp<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You act as if you grieve<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For what <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I do not wish<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To pretend <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your dissatisfied hiss<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I comprehend<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

I want an earthquake<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I call out<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want the sky to break<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want to rip myself out of the flesh suit<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is not my own<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is mine<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the universe<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because i am<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The universe.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

She gifts me <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Such a beautiful bouquet <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of dying flowers<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It almost changes<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My light<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How can i explain<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your grating voice<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carding through my hair<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your cafun\u00e9 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Almost puts me to sleep<\/p>\n\n\n\n

again<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But i know better now<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I chew up your flowers<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Spit them<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Straight into the eyes of the sky<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Twist your voice<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pressure it<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Until it paints me in the vibrancy of the stars.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

Let the blood cry<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one will console it<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I find the vestige of water marks<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In your red carpet<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Evidence of your attempts<\/p>\n\n\n\n

to submerge yourself <\/p>\n\n\n\n

even deeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I walk for seconds and years<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You have never once refused to sing<\/p>\n\n\n\n

an aubade with me<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I find you in the seventh cloud<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I fly through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It disperses rapidly<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not desiring to be the bearer of scarlet rain<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no dawn anymore<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no space<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No vacancy<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

Perhaps this is what you wanted<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For me to disappear<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To become a whisper<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A smudge<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A forgotten name<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the tongue of someone<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Who never learned how to listen<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

But i am still here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the gap<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Beneath the door<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The trembling glass<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The thing you so gravely desire<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But cannot quite reach<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You think it is destruction<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think it is becoming<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

I shed<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every borrowed skin<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every expectation<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every diminutive piece of myself<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You tucked into my pockets<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And called mine<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

I leave them<\/p>\n\n\n\n

on the floor<\/p>\n\n\n\n

like dead moths<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

I do not carry<\/p>\n\n\n\n

your weather<\/p>\n\n\n\n

anymore.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

Let the ocean engulf it<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let the stars swallow it<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let the earth grind it<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Into something<\/p>\n\n\n\n

useful.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

this is the place<\/p>\n\n\n\n

where i end<\/p>\n\n\n\n

and everything else begins.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Just because yesterday is your tomorrow Does not mean i need to keep you company  In the dismal illusion that is your reality Can\u2019t you understand? I want out Your greed is not my token Your anger is but a spout In my ocean You scream, a shrill, ear-piercing screech Telling me to leave Then … Continue reading “Fillers”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":129,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23703"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/129"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23703"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23703\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23719,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23703\/revisions\/23719"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23703"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23703"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23703"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}