{"id":23634,"date":"2026-08-27T09:55:06","date_gmt":"2026-08-27T14:55:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/?p=23634"},"modified":"2026-08-27T09:55:06","modified_gmt":"2026-08-27T14:55:06","slug":"conflict-resolution","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/2026\/08\/27\/conflict-resolution\/","title":{"rendered":"Conflict resolution"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Hello everypony, my middle school self would like to formally apologize for the amount of friendship drama I witnessed\u2026and caused\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There was this girl I used to be friends with who had a specific way of dealing with conflict..she just ghosted you..in person<\/span>.<\/b> You could walk right up to her and start talking, and she would just walk away. This was her solution to literally everything.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

That friendship definitely taught me something, though. As I\u2019ve gotten older, I\u2019ve become a lot more conscious of how I deal with conflict. I\u2019ve made my own mistakes, obviously. I\u2019ve argued over text. I\u2019ve complained to other friends when I should have just talked to the person involved. I\u2019ve said things while I was angry that probably would have sounded a lot better if I had waited five minutes. I\u2019ve also learned that friendships are going to have uncomfortable moments. What matters is your conflict resolution.<\/span><\/p>\n

It could be your friend has been acting weird and you have no idea why, you got left out of something, there\u2019s a boy involved, someone said something that bothered you or maybe you don\u2019t even know who is mad and why. Whatever the situation is, here\u2019s what I\u2019ve learned about dealing with it.<\/span><\/p>\n

First, figure out what you\u2019re trying to say.<\/span><\/p>\n

You don\u2019t need to write a speech or prepare a ten-page argument. Just know what\u2019s bothering you. Before I talk to them, I think: What happened? Why am I upset? What do I want them to understand? What do I want to happen? If you\u2019re nervous, write it down. Put everything in your notes app. Tell your mom. Talk to someone you trust.<\/span><\/p>\n

And please, do not have the argument through text. I know it\u2019s easy. You can type out exactly what you want to say, read it seventeen times, and send it without having to look at their face. Sounds amazing. Right? WRONG. If you can, talk face-to-face.. Sit somewhere quiet. Find somewhere you both feel comfortable enough to talk. AND DON’T INVOLVE PEOPLE WHO DON’T NEED TO BE INVOLVED.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Now, I start with the friendship, and not the problem. Before immediately listing everything they\u2019ve done wrong, tell them why you\u2019re having this conversation instead of just dropping them. Something as simple as, \u201cI really care about you, and that\u2019s why I don\u2019t want to just ignore what\u2019s been happening between us.\u201d is usually my go to. That one sentence can completely change their mindset.<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re not saying, Here is everything I hate about you. You\u2019re saying, Our friendship matters enough to me that I really want to fix this.<\/span><\/p>\n

There is nothing embarrassing about admitting that something hurt you. When you explain what happened, try to focus on your experience instead of attacking theirs. Instead of saying something like\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve been treating me like garbage.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019d say somethin like\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve felt really distant from you lately, and I honestly haven\u2019t known what I did wrong.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Same feeling. Just not as dramatic. And once you\u2019ve said your part, stop talking and let them answer.<\/span><\/p>\n

This is probably the hardest part for me because I might hear something I don\u2019t agree with. Maybe they misunderstood something. Maybe they\u2019re upset about something completely different. Maybe they have a perspective I never even considered.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

You don\u2019t have to immediately defend yourself against every sentence. You can say, \u201cI didn\u2019t realize you felt that way,\u201d or even just, \u201cI need a little time to think about that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Finally, don\u2019t make the ending awkward just because the conversation was awkward. You don\u2019t have to walk away with everything magically fixed. Sometimes the best ending is simply agreeing that you\u2019ll both try to communicate better next time. You could say, \u201cCan we just promise that if something is bothering us, we\u2019ll actually say something next time?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I know this is scary. Confrontation feels so so scary, but it\u2019s a necessary part of growing up. So don\u2019t be too scared to confront a bad friend!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We got this!<\/span><\/p>\n

Okay love you, bye bye!!!!<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Hello everypony, my middle school self would like to formally apologize for the amount of friendship drama I witnessed\u2026and caused\u00a0 There was this girl I used to be friends with who had a specific way of dealing with conflict..she just ghosted you..in person. You could walk right up to her and start talking, and she … Continue reading “Conflict resolution”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":122,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[377,224],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23634"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/122"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23634"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23634\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23714,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23634\/revisions\/23714"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23634"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23634"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23634"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}