My struggles in writing that aren\u2019t real problems but I want to talk about them anyways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For reasons unknown, I barely wrote for an entire year, almost two entire years. My pieces I used to apply to MSA were the first things I had written in that whole time, all pieced together over the span of two-ish months. I actually have in a notebook, somewhere floating around my dorm right now, that had the single thing I wrote worth anything in that entire time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Writing is pretty sentimental to me, and especially that piece and the subject its on\u2014but I wont share what it is, due to how personal it is. It\u2019s sort of the type of thing that I did love, then, and held very dear to me because it is literally the ONLY thing I could write for that entire portion of my life, even if I don\u2019t care much for it now, or agree with it, or even resonate with it. I realized im a lot more personal than I previously thought, and I do overshare and infodump but its never really about the most deep, personal stuff to me and blah blah blah. I don\u2019t like talking about stuff currently going on in my life, just stuff I did or that did happen in a somewhat comedic lense that cant currently effect me, and I really try to keep my personal thoughts and feelings out of things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really bad at explaining that, so I\u2019m just going to jump into my point: I don\u2019t write about my personal life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of all of my favorite, most memorable pieces, they were about something or someone else. My Polar Bear Haibun, Rose Oil, Metaphorical, 11:11, Tributaries, Constellations. They\u2019re all great, and I love all of those stories and poems and whatever else so much, but they don\u2019t really like reflect any of my inner beliefs. I think about so much, all the time, and none of it ever makes it into my work. Why is that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A part of me is embarrassed. Like I\u2019m scared of being wrong, like whatever I say could be taken the wrong way if I don\u2019t over explain, but over explaining takes thought and impact away from other people. I think that\u2019s why I love realism so much. You don\u2019t ever look at someone scratching their nose and think they must think they have something on their face and they\u2019re hiding it.<\/em> You don\u2019t think about it at all. You don\u2019t think, are they embarrassed? Do they think they have food around their mouth and they\u2019re hiding it?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n You don\u2019t ever think if someone\u2019s worried that they\u2019re accidentally flirting by twirling their hair, or if they look overly anxious by bouncing their leg, but these are always things people think about in themselves. You recognize it. It\u2019s a way to hide. Or, maybe, forgetting to brush your teeth because you\u2019re in a rush so you never stand to close to someone, or you\u2019re worried if you missed a spot when brushing your hair and if you look a little crazy. If you\u2019re like me, maybe your septum is crooked. Fix it. Oh, maybe your classes are lopsided. Are they too high? You get to say things, do things, that people never ever want or think of talking about. I think that\u2019s because it\u2019s so normal to you, but do you ever think about other people doing it? If you are, you\u2019re incredibly vain, and probably judgmental. I know I\u2019m judgmental.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But, in relation to that, I get too embarrassed to write about my personal life. I know that, realistically, there are probably entire communities full of people who think exactly how I do, or look at the world the same, or think about the same hyper-realistic things in art like I do, but who ever tells someone im terrified I have something in my teeth so I\u2019ve been trying to look at my reflection in this one-sided glass window but the shade it too brown and I cant see and now im trying not to cry because that\u2019s somehow worse.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s easier to keep my thoughts to myself than it is to share them, but at the same time I know that I\u2019m not putting my best work out, because I\u2019m not being genuine. But, I also feel like if I were to get extremely personal in my work, especially if that work was for literary, I would have to explain everything behind it and how it makes me feel and I DON\u2019T do how things make me feel. I\u2019d feel like I was venting in explaining why I wrote something, even if the memory is really happy or whatever. I also feel like if my short stories were any more personal then I\u2019d end up, like, going 1000 and 2000 words over the limit instead of my usual 300-400 (sorry Dr Alexis). Or something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is danny\u2019s (poor) attempt at discussing his issues with writing, and yes, before anyone says it or thinks it, I know that writing doesn\u2019t HAVE to be personal. I just would like mine to be more so, I guess, even if I don\u2019t exactly know how to do that. Dats all. I feel like I haven\u2019t even said anything omg.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" My struggles in writing that aren\u2019t real problems but I want to talk about them anyways. For reasons unknown, I barely wrote for an entire year, almost two entire years. My pieces I used to apply to MSA were the first things I had written in that whole time, all pieced together over the span … Continue reading “Talking about writing instead of doing it”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":117,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[429,48,49],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23342"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/117"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23342"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23342\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23343,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23342\/revisions\/23343"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23342"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23342"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23342"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}