{"id":22984,"date":"2026-02-12T09:43:38","date_gmt":"2026-02-12T15:43:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/?p=22984"},"modified":"2026-02-12T09:43:38","modified_gmt":"2026-02-12T15:43:38","slug":"ancient-greek-men-suck-heres-who-doesnt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/2026\/02\/12\/ancient-greek-men-suck-heres-who-doesnt\/","title":{"rendered":"(Ancient Greek) men suck. Here’s who doesn’t!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I don\u2019t know if you guys know this about me but. I like Greek mythology. Surprise!! Shocking, right? No one knew this! Anyways, this is another Greek Mythology blog except it\u2019s just going to be me bashing the same two guys over and over because they\u2019re everyones favorites and then I\u2019m going to tell you the ONLY correct answer for who your favorite (male) Greek god should be, out of the main 7~ ish. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most of the time, when people hear \u201cevil death guy, god of the underworld\u201d they get scared. And, don\u2019t let me lie to you, my dude Hades gets a bad name most of the time. He is actually NOT death, that is a separate entity known as Thanatos. Hades isn\u2019t even the god of the dead. He\u2019s the god of the underworld. Not just the bad parts but the ENTIRE underworld, including the Greek equivalent of heaven, Elysium. This makes Hades the god of not only the scary fire torture place, but the place where they feast and party and have fun for the rest of forever and literally everything good ever happens. He, in his roman form of Pluto, actually receives a lot more credit regarding this aspect of him because of how militarized the romans were. They didn\u2019t want to fear death, not how the greeks did, so he morphed into a GOOD guy who\u2026 kinda also was super duper death or whatever. And also riches. Shouts out to Pluto, by far my favorite Roman God (somewhere near hygiea)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the flip side of the same coin, hehe get it because riches, Hades is absolutely NOT a \u201cgood\u201d guy by moral standards. It\u2019s impossible to hold a god, if you believe they are real, or metaphorical beings, if you don\u2019t, to OUR mortal standards. However, people do. People LOVE to bash on deities like Poseidon and Zeus for their actions, and then don\u2019t extend the same ideas over to HADES. Who\u2019s most known myth is HADES and PERSEPHONE. Like. THE myth Greek mythology was so popularized by.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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(Hades, Persephone, and little tiny cerberus)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Y\u2019know, the general myth in which Hades sees the beautiful Persephone in demeter\u2019s garden, decides he wants her for a wife and opens up the ground to catch her, brings her down to the underworld refuses to let her leave. She gets super hungry, goes out and finds a pomegranate and eats like six seeds, leads to us and the changing of our seasons because something something deal with Zeus. Kind of the blueprint for most \u201cDark\u201d (read: kidnapping) romance these days. Bad boy who really wants you but you cant have him because of some external force (usually the law).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yeah, shut up. Hades Kidnapped and, LITERALLY, assaulted Persephone. In ALL tellings of the myth. He literally snatches my girl out of her garden. The OG myth was actually more focused on Demeter, and her journey in finding her daughter and how different seasons were divided into where, blah  blah. But, no. It\u2019s all about hades and Persephone. People like to call them some big metaphor for devotion and unconditional love, rebelling for what you want, but no one has been able to explain to me how they are a metaphor for that.  Because they aren\u2019t. Most tellings of the myth have Hades putting the pomegranate tree out there to entice Persephone because she was refusing to eat for him, because he was trying to trap her down there, and some have him plain deceiving her because she\u2019s, get this, young and doesn\u2019t know. People tend to villainize every other male deiety for the exact same thing, but somehow hades gets a pass?? Somehow?? Also somehow theres a telling of the myth ive heard in which he was DEVASTATED that Persephone ate the seeds and was now forced to be with him, as he wanted her to \u201cchoose\u201d him. That telling was GREATLY popularized my Dark Romance today. That literally would not ever happen ever. Where are you guys getting your information.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m sick of the hades glazing. Theres a few other bad things here and there, though most of those were \u201cbut zeus told me to!!\u201d and not of his own free will, so whatever. A god that is NOT bound by anothers free will but is still so deeply loved and adored by all is APOLLO.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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(Apollo and Daphne)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Apollo is a JERK. He\u2019s an INCEL. He\u2019s TERRIBLE (not really ily apollo). Most of his myths, if not pertaining to prophecy in some way, is him screwing up so bad with the ladies (and men, on occasion) that they beg to be turned into trees, throw themselves off cliffs, turn themselves into plants (happens like 3 times) and genuinely so much more. The amount of minor myths that are just \u201capollo wants girl. Girl says no. Apollo then chases girl. Girl then finds some new insane way to die just to get away from him.\u201d I actually cant believe I just called a god an incel im giggling. Apollo in most media is perceived as this \u201cgreat happy sunny poetry and music\u201d guy. He was initially the god of PLAGE. And DEATH. And TERROR. The music and poetry and all that other good stuff, like medicine, came WAY after his origins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You know who you SHOULD like though? Who your favorite male god SHOULD be, if you want to hold ANY of them to mortal standards? Not Hades. Not apollo. Not Poseidon, or Hermes. DEFINITELY not zeus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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(My goat Ares bowing to his girlfriend Aphrodite)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ares. ARES is one of the only gods who, as far as im aware, has NOT greatly wronged a woman. Googled it just now. He\u2019s like an angel. Also, he is younger than Athena and not a technical biological child of Zeus (or something, probably a Romanized myth). Which makes sense, weirdly. Anyways. Just a few points on why Ares should be your favorite.<\/p>\n\n\n\n