{"id":22399,"date":"2025-09-25T13:30:20","date_gmt":"2025-09-25T18:30:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/?p=22399"},"modified":"2025-09-25T13:30:20","modified_gmt":"2025-09-25T18:30:20","slug":"undertales-10-year-anniversary-and-growing-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/2025\/09\/25\/undertales-10-year-anniversary-and-growing-up\/","title":{"rendered":"Undertale\u2019s 10-Year Anniversary and Growing Up"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n

September 15th, 2025 marked 10 years since Undertale<\/a>\u2019s official release. And over September 20-21, Fangamer hosted (not one<\/a> but) two<\/a> special streams replaying the game with new additions and development insight from Toby Fox, the creator. <\/span><\/p>\n

I want to be clear about how there\u2019s not a lot I can say that hasn\u2019t been said before in a high quality video essay or lengthily written forum post. So I\u2019ve decided to discuss my personal experience with Undertale. But I\u2019m worried I won\u2019t even have enough to say since I barely remember my time in the prime Undertale fandom. And now I\u2019ve had an entire month to move on from all of my feelings I had writing my last blog. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSteph, you seriously don\u2019t have anything to say about the 10-year anniversary or the Fangamer stream?\u201d I theoretically ask myself for the sake of transition.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s hard to say that\u2026 I didn\u2019t feel much. And maybe, that means whatever I\u2019m feeling is too much for me to process right now so I’m indifferent to it. Or maybe there\u2019s so much else going on that I don\u2019t even have time to process 10 years since the most influential game to my existence was released. I\u2019ll probably feel it in a couple of months.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve always had an extreme fear of growing up. And facing Undertale\u2019s 10-year anniversary is like facing that fear directly. Of all of my fears, because of course there\u2019s a lot, I\u2019m always able to avoid them. I get my dad to kill spiders, I sit out on tall rollercoasters, and I stay far away from the deep parts of the ocean. But growing up is the one thing I can avoid. And, obviously death because I\u2019m scared of that too. I\u2019m growing up a little bit everyday. No matter how long I watch kids shows, color with crayons, or pray to God to let me be a kid for at least a little longer, I\u2019m almost 18 already.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not original by saying I don\u2019t want to grow up, quite the opposite actually. I think everyone, especially my peers in my class, has felt this way. But I want to dive into this feeling in relation to Undertale\u2019s 10-year anniversary. <\/span><\/p>\n

When I was 7, I had just moved to America, I struggled to interact with kids my age, and second graders are mean! When nothing else was consistent in my life, the internet was, surprisingly. I think I\u2019ve mentioned before that I got my first laptop when I was 4, so I was familiar with the internet at a young age.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s where I was first introduced to Undertale through Jackcepticeye\u2019s Let\u2019s Play<\/a>. Not sure when I found it exactly, but I know it couldn\u2019t have been long after the series first started in October. I have a memory of talking to a friend about how I couldn\u2019t wait for the next episode and she had no clue what I was talking about. After I dove into the Undertale fandom, I was able to find some comfort at the end of the day. It was like this for years, long enough for me to have a physical reaction when I hear the soundtrack. <\/span><\/p>\n

So now, 10 years later, as a 17-year-old, I\u2019m under completely different circumstances. I\u2019m somewhat comfortable where I live, I have some of the best friends I could ever ask for, and art school kids are actually a lot nicer than you would think. So why does it physically hurt me to listen to the soundtrack or play the game again? I think it\u2019s because my life has completely switched over the past 10 years. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not looking for comfort at the end of a hard day of being a confused and lost kid anymore. I\u2019m almost a teenager who already has comfort and support. It\u2019s like I\u2019m actively looking to be confused and lost again. Maybe that\u2019s why I\u2019ve been making some brash decisions recently.<\/span><\/p>\n

In all honesty, watching the Fangamer stream felt weird. For one, I watched a reaction stream of the original so there was a layer of separation that I didn\u2019t even realize until the whole thing was over. Secondly, I was really overstimulated with the mix of an extremely emotional game, Fangamer\u2019s elaborate set, props, and commentary, and the new content they mixed into the game. I almost lost my mind. But I enjoyed the stream and it ended on a beautiful note:<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cThe world<\/p>\n\n\n\n

is as big as you<\/p>\n\n\n\n

want it to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Where will you go next?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

That quote actually hit me harder than anything else. Recently, I\u2019ve been rethinking my plans for my adulthood. Through my journey to heal my inner child, I\u2019ve rediscovered my distaste for monotony, staying in a box, doing what is expected of me. I was always told: go to college, get a job, get married, have kids. That order, every single day. Going to art school halfway through high school was my first step outside of the pre-established path.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I want to make decisions that were never options to me before. I want to find what makes me happy rather than follow what people think makes me happy. I want to disappoint people because I\u2019ve never done that before.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo Steph, how big is your world?\u201d I theoretically ask myself to lighten the mood.<\/span><\/p>\n

Right now, it\u2019s small. It\u2019s almost completely limited to the state of Mississippi. I do not want my world to be that way, especially coming all the way from Indonesia. Big decisions are being made currently and I certainly wouldn\u2019t have the courage to make them if not for Undertale.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

I didn\u2019t expect this blog to be so sad. I knew it would be emotional for me, but I wasn\u2019t expecting to just be flat out sad. I think this rainy weather is getting to me. I wasn\u2019t expecting to be able to discuss my current feelings in this either, I just thought I would be celebrating Undertale\u2019s 10th birthday. Glad I\u2019m able to find a way to make everything about me I guess??? On a lighter, dorkier note, I recently submitted my senior quote. Just like I said I would, like, 5 years ago, I made it, \u201cDespite everything, it\u2019s still you.\u201d I felt silly submitting it, especially after having to explain it to someone who had never even heard of Undertale before, but 7-year-old me would think I am so cool so that\u2019s literally all that matters. Yes, I did include that “not one but two” bit in the beginning just so I could insert both stream links thanks for noticing. And thanks for reading if you did.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

September 15th, 2025 marked 10 years since Undertale\u2019s official release. And over September 20-21, Fangamer hosted (not one but) two special streams replaying the game with new additions and development insight from Toby Fox, the creator.  I want to be clear about how there\u2019s not a lot I can say that hasn\u2019t been said before … Continue reading “Undertale\u2019s 10-Year Anniversary and Growing Up”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":100,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,3],"tags":[49,24,422,357],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22399"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/100"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22399"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22399\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22439,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22399\/revisions\/22439"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22399"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22399"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22399"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}