Content warning: loss of a loved one and heavy emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s been four weeks since I received the worst news of my life. That\u2019s a month since my great aunt passed away. It\u2019s still a soft subject for me, I don\u2019t know why I talk about it this much. I\u2019m constantly upset because I\u2019m thinking about her, and then I do things that make me think about her even more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My life was nearly perfect before. I was attending my dream<\/em> highschool, making new friends, finding out about myself and my personality. I was even losing weight and my acne was clearing up. I was the happiest I had ever been in my entire life. Then, my only mother figure was ripped away from me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was all so sudden. She was 84 and I understand that, but she was so<\/em> healthy. She did everything she could to make sure of it. To most people, she looked nowhere near her actual age. I had seen her a day prior to her death and everything was perfect. It was Sunday and we went to church together, like we always did. We didn\u2019t do much that day, just enjoyed each other\u2019s company. I wouldn\u2019t have had it any other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n During the first week, my mind was quiet while my heart felt like it had been physically pulled out and ripped apart. If I wasn\u2019t crying, I was asleep and if I wasn\u2019t asleep, I was crying. It was a vicious cycle that I\u2019m glad I was able to get out of. I was waiting to come back to MSA, I knew I would be happier there. I hate that quiet, empty house where everything reminds me of her, but I love my dad and my dog with all my heart and I\u2019d do anything for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019ll get better\u201d is something that I used to tell myself all the time. A few years ago, I hit rock bottom. I lost a lot of my friends, failed half of my classes, and hated everything<\/em>. I promised myself that things would be better and, with time, they did. I found new friends that showed me real friendship and love, my grades excelled, and (for the first time) I loved myself. After a year, I hit rock bottom again. I lost some friends and got caught in highschool drama and I was miserable<\/em>. This time was different, though. I remembered how I pulled myself up out of the lowest point in my life and I didn\u2019t have to promise myself anything anymore because I knew<\/em> it would get better. And it did. I came to MSA and I was happier than ever for just 2 weeks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I keep telling myself that it\u2019ll get better. When I think it does, it all comes crashing down again. The first week back at MSA was great and I thought things were looking up. Then the second week was just awful. The third week started to look better, and now, I\u2019m back in the dumps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n An entire month has passed and I don\u2019t know how to feel. I\u2019ll be completely honest, I\u2019ve never been more disappointed in myself. History is repeating. I think I\u2019ve already lost a few friends, I feel like my grades are dropping, and I don\u2019t feel the same love I had for myself anymore. I tell myself it\u2019ll get better, I know<\/em> it\u2019ll get better, but right now, it\u2019s so hard to believe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I came back to MSA, I was swarmed with love and support and I couldn\u2019t be more grateful. My friends helped me stay distracted from the heavy feelings and my teachers gave me grace while I struggled with motivation and fought to stay focused during class. Dr. Blauw helped in so many different ways, I can\u2019t thank her enough. With this amount of love around me, I\u2019m hopeful for the future and thankful for everyone in my life. This wound will heal with time and I know it\u2019ll get better.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Content warning: loss of a loved one and heavy emotions. It\u2019s been four weeks since I received the worst news of my life. That\u2019s a month since my great aunt passed away. It\u2019s still a soft subject for me, I don\u2019t know why I talk about it this much. I\u2019m constantly upset because I\u2019m thinking … Continue reading ““It’ll Get Better.””<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":100,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20395"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/100"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20395"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20395\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20396,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20395\/revisions\/20396"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20395"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20395"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20395"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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