maybe i should stop trying to make everything symbolic. it\u2019s just snow. it\u2019s not the universe\u2019s way of telling me that something or someone is fading from my life, it\u2019s just snow. it\u2019s just a dirty puddle in the middle of my parents\u2019 driveway that my sister\u2019s car used to hover above, and it\u2019s just an angry result of our ongoing climate crisis. nothing else,<\/p>\n
and i wish that i could keep speaking those things into existence, but there\u2019s always going to be a part of me that dies a little bit inside when i see the pinecone on my bedside table. it\u2019s not a physical reflection of the final trip home before everything went to hell; it\u2019s just a pinecone. it is prickly, not even pretty, and sometimes it hurts my fingertips when i go to pick it up, because it\u2019s\u2026 a pinecone. i avoided them as a kid, and now i can\u2019t even bring myself to dispose of one properly, because it\u2019s symbolic,<\/p>\n
but i should stop making everything into something it\u2019s not. i should stop seeing memories in the window of my local trading post, because it\u2019s just a gas station. it\u2019s my first stop on the way back to school, and it\u2019s my favorite place to get breakfast from in the morning; it\u2019s not the first place we went in my hometown, it\u2019s just a trading post. i keep telling myself that,<\/p>\n
but there are still tire tracks in the dirt beside my house, and i don\u2019t think they\u2019ll come back any time soon after the next good rain. i\u2019m sure my sobbing didn\u2019t help the impressions such a small car was denting in my driveway, but i couldn\u2019t help it. while i\u2019ve been trying to reduce my metaphors to something less philosophical, i don\u2019t think you can withdraw philosophy from the idea that the physical representation of my suffering contributed to the permanence of it,<\/p>\n
but it snowed last week. and i haven\u2019t been back home, but there are two parts of me right now. one of them is hoping that the weather has preserved all that\u2019s left of a vehicle\u2019s presence. the other is hoping that the melted tragedy takes the tire tracks with it, because it cannot bear to look at them any longer.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
maybe i should stop trying to make everything symbolic. it\u2019s just snow. it\u2019s not the universe\u2019s way of telling me that something or someone is fading from my life, it\u2019s just snow. it\u2019s just a dirty puddle in the middle of my parents\u2019 driveway that my sister\u2019s car used to hover above, and it\u2019s just … Continue reading “life is, in fact, not like a box of chocolates; not everything is figurative.”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":67,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11502"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/67"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11502"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11502\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11503,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11502\/revisions\/11503"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11502"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11502"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.msabrookhaven.org\/literary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11502"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}