Category: Junior Literary

It has been a ridiculously long time since I came on this blog to have a genuine conversation with you–you being, well, anybody. I’m not sure who exactly I imagine reading my blogs, but I hope at least some of you out there are future students of MSA.

Even now, I can recall the joy that overtook my face when I discovered the literary blog. Seeing my senior’s work made my heart soar, and I found myself checking back frequently to read their posts. Callie Matthews wrote several advice blogs for rising juniors, and they always made me feel so comforted and reassured, so I decided that I would make a series of those as well! I’ll touch on some general points in these posts, but if you have any questions please, reach out to a student! We would be more than happy to talk to you about life on campus.

Invest in Your Space

About a month ago, I moved into my own dorm, and I took this as an opportunity to turn a room into a home. I think one of the biggest challenges of living at a boarding school is feeling comfortable in a unfamiliar environment. It’s a difficult transition for everybody, but one thing that can definitely help is decorating your space in a way that brings you joy. I bought a tapestry, a diffuser, string lights, and fake vines to embellish the dorm, but it’s also filled with small things I’ve collected over the years and photos of my friends from back home. Class of ’23, it is highly unlikely that you’ll be sent home for extended periods of time due to COVID-related things, so consider taking the things from home that make you happy in your dorm. You don’t have to spend big to make your space feel more cozy; DIY projects are a wonderful way to bring life to a dorm without breaking the bank, and small, inexpensive decorative items can go a long way. Also, if you do plan on buying new items from your dorm, check over the list of allowed items before you make any purchases! Here are a few pictures of my dorm, if you need an idea of what you’ll be working with. Keep in mind that the majority of you will have a roommate next year, so be mindful of that shared space when you’re picking out things.

Personally, the desk chair was a good investment for me, it’s especially nice if you work primarily at the ‘big desk’ like I do. Each desk has a comfortable chair provided with it, so it’s all down to preference at the end of the day. I have throw blankets over mine just for the sake of adding more color to the room; I bought a cushion for the chair beside my bed, so I only have the blanket hanging over the backside of that one.

Before you move in, you and your roommate will have to make a decision about who’s sleeping where; the typical agreement is that the person who takes the bottom  bunk will have the two small desks and whoever takes the top will have the big desk under it, but it varies from situation to situation. Chose wisely; get a cute twin xl bed set, mattress topper, and mattress cover; invest in comfortable pillows; and you’re all set. Sleeping on the top bunk isn’t as terrible as some people think; I slept there before I moved rooms, and I never came close to rolling off during my sleep. I promise, your body knows where you need to be to stay safe, even when it’s asleep. If you do end up with the top bunk and you’re still feeling anxious, consider buying a bed rail. I’ve only ever seen these made for children’s beds, but still, they are a decent enough length to keep you from falling.

You can’t see them in the pictures above, but on the east—or west, depending on which side of the suite you get—wall, you have three large sets of dressers, closets, and vanities. You’ll have enough space to store whatever clothes, shoes, and accessories you need. Another thing: consider bringing your own mini-fridge. If your roommate has one, and they’re willing to share, that’s great, but you might appreciate having your own space for food and drinks. If you bring your own dishes, please bring dish wash and a sponge to clean them. You do not want to be struck trying to wipe down your cups and bowls with wet paper towels.

Now let’s talk about the bathroom. You and your roommate will be connected to another pair of roommates by a bathroom. It’s a pretty large space, and you’ll have the necessities of a two sinks, a mirror, a shower, and a toilet.

I only share a bathroom with one person; again, this probably will not be the case for you. Each side has a four-unit storage shelf with three small drawers under those and two towel racks: one of the door, the other beside the shelves. I keep a chair on my side just so I don’t have to stand while I’m doing my dental and skincare routines and my makeup. My suite-mate has some of their artwork up to make the place feel more welcoming, and I really appreciate that aspect of our shared space.

It’s a good idea to connect with your suite-mates (which is a term that includes everyone you share a bathroom with) about what you want to get for the bathroom. Your must-haves are a shower curtain, a trash can, paper towels, hand soap, toilet paper, a plunger, and cleaning supplies for every part of the bathroom, including the mirror and toilet. You might be interested in buying a tiered shower caddy that can hang on the shower head, so you don’t have to make due with limited room for your products or take them in and out each time you take a shower. Bathmats and toothbrush holders are worthy considerations as well.

Before you move in, I would pick a day and make note of everything you use over the course of 24-hours; naturally, things will operate a bit differently in your dorm than they do in your bedroom back home, but it’ll help you get a sense of what you actually need to bring and what will be sitting untouched in the top shelf of your closet for the next school year.

…and that’s about it.  Thanks for spending some time with me, and I hope you find this helpful. Until next time!

Chains

Despair and hope

Virtue or vice

Joy or sadness

Depression and anxiety 

Resilience over pain

Break out of your chains.

Yeah I know, short and sweet.  Compared to others who were writing half pages I felt mine failed in comparison.  There was no minimum word count, but I still felt it was too short.  Often I feel I am in a place surrounded by talented people where I am plainly average.  Everything from MSA to on the court.  Even as I have been recognized as talented, when people outweigh you by so much even talented people can look very boring in comparison.

It’s not that I’m not accepted, I just don’t feel like I am as accepted as everyone else.  I never feel completely like I belong anywhere.  Of course, more here and on my current basketball team than I did at my old school.  

One thing I’ve always longed for is acceptance.  Something I never really had the chance to experience.  Everywhere I went I was outcast– from a child in Sunday school being bullied to high school being the “weird kid” to being trashed on by lots of different people– they say these are the best years of your life, but honestly I don’t know if I can handle it getting any worse.

The place I feel like I belong with the most is my friends that I never get to see.  I have met so many kind people on the internet, some that aren’t even from the same country.  Most of them have drifted away. Losing online friends can be especially difficult when you have no real friends.  My hometown is just so small and narrow minded I didn’t really find too many people who were compatible with me. 

Thankfully, now, I have some good friends, like my friend Alex.  Her family dynamic is much different than mine, but her family always makes me feel so accepted.  I went with them and some of her other friends for Halloween one year. Although I did get a few weird looks because I was the only white person in the group and had a much more elaborate costume, I still had fun and didn’t feel left out.  Last time I was home I got to see her, too. I mainly just sat in on them running errands, but it was still nice to be able to get out of the house.  In fact, I still have a cut from a wire that was sticking out of their car’s chair gashed on my knee.  A mark of friendship, if you will.

 

at the beginning of my sophomore year of high school, i started longing for msa more and more every day. i, along with about 20 other fellow prospective students, anxiously awaited the opening day of applications for this fine school. we had become close friends over the course of a single week, and kept in touch ever since. at the time, these were the only people in my life with shared interests and values; they were nothing like those from my 3 previous schools, and i was more than ready to share a space with them.

i started making a playlist to keep me going through the hard times of rankin county, starting strong with “home” by daughtry, then quickly followed by the instrumental version of “ocean eyes” by billie eilish, because it was the song that ms. genevieve kelley played beautifully on the 3rd floor piano. this playlist was dedicated to every emotion the thought of msa made me feel, and it’s turning out to be a large source of comfort throughout my time here as well. 

sometimes, the music isn’t so good. it can play “the lucky one” by taylor swift just as easily as it can play “tongue tied” by grouplove, and i think the distinction between the two lies in the very thin boundary that is “la is lonely” by ricky manning. it talks about how he’s in los angeles and he’s lost his way, he doesn’t know what he’s doing or why he’s there. he feels alone and scared, and he wants to make friends, but no one else seems to.

the lyric that hits home most for me is “nobody tells you when you go chasing your dreams that it’s much harder than it seems on the screens. fake magazines on the shelf, you’re only left with yourself,”

and while that lyric resonates with my anxiety at times, it’s also a gentle reminder that i’m not only left with myself. i have great friends that i’m thankful for beyond belief, and i’ve written about them a thousand times, but i simply don’t believe that i can do it enough.

if it weren’t for azya, i would probably spend much less time in my dorm than i do. she makes me want to come back to my floor and laugh at really REALLY awful jokes, and for no reason. she’s so much fun and the light of my time here.

ms brianna cox should not ever allow herself to have any other favorite color than yellow, because the hues of sunflowers and honey fits her like nothing else ever could. she is bright and vibrant and has an abundance of love that can make anyone’s day better.

callie is… for starters, a walking goddess. she is the epitome of kindness, talent, and grace. her fashion is impeccable, and she’s a good person at the core of her soul. she does so much for others, but that’s not even her defining trait. she is good for herself, and that is so so beautiful.

maple has been a pillar of strength this whole year. he may not have all of his stuff in line, but they make it work, and they deserve every good thing he receives in this world. they are endlessly talented, and i cannot wait to see the places he’ll go.

maleigh is, for lack of a better term, a badass. mrs. msa and mrs. senior class president and mrs. editor-in-chief-for-the-most-productive-school-newspaper-i’ve-ever-seen has the brightest smile in the room. she is a great roommate and an even better person, and i am so proud of everything she’s done for this school and for herself.

katie, katie, katie, The Girl Who Plays the Cello and Holds the Title for Walking Goddess: Alternative Fashion Edition. she is one of the best writers i know, and her care for others has never disappointed me. i look up to her in so many ways, and i am so proud of everything she has done to take care of herself, because she deserves it.

stephyne… lord, where do i begin with the first msa senior whose energy and beauty sparked awe in my little prospective student heart? maybe i should start with her award-winning works, or maybe with the magazine she has worked so hard to uphold and pull off. or i could end with her countless philosophical ideas that bring miracles to our literary classroom.

morgan love, ms. poetry out loud champ, sga attorney general, and strong woman central. i will always adore her, for her talents and contributions, as well as for the love she has for her friends and family. she is beautiful and worthy of everything she desires.

msa is not easy. it is hell and a heartbreak, and i’ve wanted to give up more than i can count on a single hand. but the pillars upholding the school are the vibrations of love that pour from these senior literaries’ souls. i am so so proud of every single one of you, and i cannot wait to see what’s in store for you. i love you so, so much.

Imagine you are in your high school chemistry class, wedged between the edge of a square lab table and the chilled, metal spine of your chair. The professor is droning on and on about the upcoming lesson, but your eyes wander around the room, bouncing between each of the nauseatingly bright and corny posters. The static buzz of the warm overhead lights does nothing to drown out her booming voice. You rhythmically tap your pencil against your desk and observe the faces of your classmates. Most seem just as bored and preoccupied as you, but one, you notice, sits with their eyes squeezed shut and hands tugging at the ends of their hair in visible distress. Like most high school students, you probably can not recognize the signs of sensory overload, nor are you educated on neurodivergence enough to know that this student could have autism spectrum disorder. Autism spectrum disorder refers to a broad spectrum of cognitive differences that can present challenges in a person’s sociability, communication skills, and behavior. Since this form of neurodivergency manifests in an innumerable amount of ways, the needs from person to person varies greatly. Secondary students with autism have to navigate a uniquely strenuous landscape during their education, and in many cases, they do not receive proper accommodations from a school’s faculty nor full support from their peers. Teenagers with autism face unique difficulties in both educational and social settings, and it is the responsibility of everyone involved in the schooling system to be helpful towards and understanding of the specific challenges neurodivergent students face, like sensory perception issues, language difficulties, and communication barriers.

In the physical classroom, students with autism encounter distinctive obstacles. One of the most overlooked complications of having autism is experiencing deficits in sensory processing; sensory overload occurs when a person’s five senses are receiving more input than their brains can process. An average high school classroom can be both inhibiting and overwhelming to students with atypical needs. Many professionals find that students with autism find it easier to learn visually; however, as students make the shift from elementary to secondary school, lessons tend to become more lecture focused. Accredited Schools Online quotes Jessica Leichtweisz, CEO of Hope Education Services, as saying, “This type of instruction is not well suited to children with autism, who often have a difficult time understanding the information presented. For this reason, as children with autism get older, it can be far more difficult for them to keep up.” In a similar vein, students on the autism spectrum can have trouble communicating with their peers and educators, especially when students who have this issue are in an unsettled environment with people they cannot feel unworried with. Being forced to participate in activities or lessons that are not engaging can lead to attention difficulties, and this can result in students being labeled ‘bad kids’ by teachers who do recognize the symptoms of their cognitive difference. In addition to these issues, students on the spectrum often find challenges in navigating the complicated social environment that is secondary education.

 Even the most mundane of social activities can be strenuous for teenagers with autism. For starters, the possibility of sensory overload limits the environments each individual person is able to comfortably spend time in, as well as what functions they can attend. While collaborating with Judith Newman for an article about his experience, Gus, a 16-year-old with autism touched on the language barriers he experiences. He explains, “Also, I always mean what I say. This is called being literal minded, and it means that it’s difficult for me to understand puns, riddles, or figures of speech.” Literal mindedness can cause disconnect between two people having friendly conversation;  people with autism can be perceived as rude due to their bluntness or unfunny due to their not understanding certain jokes. Impatience from neurotypical people worsens the strain people with autism endure in social situations. Fortunately, there are ways for peers and educators to ease the stress of the day-to-day life of students with autism.

A multitude of steps can be taken by faculty and fellow students to accomodate the needs of each student with autism at their school. All around, a better job needs to be done of educating the school’s community on neurodivergency and what it truly means to have autism. Students can be provided with information about how they can manage their personal sensory output, and requirements for both teachers and staff members to receive training on how to recognize and respond to the needs of students with autism. All teachers should be informed on the best methods of instructing neurodivergent students, and it needs to be encouraged that they do not dismiss the benefits of visual instruction for older students. Most importantly, patience and compassion needs to be shared by everyone in the community to cultivate a safe, inclusive environment where students with autism can flourish.

Each piece of an educational environment’s ecosystem has to do their parts to ease the strife of students with cognitive differences. With autism specifically, teenagers face a number of unique issues, including problems with verbal communication, overstimulation, and socialization. People who have Autism Spectrum Disorder have been ‘othered’ by the American secondary education system for far too long; they are often bullied by their classmates and dismissed as being weird by their teachers. They, like all students, deserve to be provided with circumstances that they can thrive and fulfill their potential in. If everyone in their lives showed a bit more consideration and kindness, the lives of high school students with autism could be improved drastically.

Oh boy, where do I even start. 

So yeah, recently, I’ve been gaining weight pretty fast even though I am very active and everything.  I also keep getting more and more stretch marks.  I am really self conscious about them and they have gotten to the point they are all over my body, pretty much.  Some would make sense as I grew tall very quickly, but I don’t know why I keep getting them on my legs and stuff.  It is also weird because they don’t run in my family at all.  My mom never got any, even when she was pregnant.  I can’t even wear a crop top anymore because every time I do, someone asks me “What’s wrong with your hips?”  Nothing, I just have gross bright red and purple stretch marks all over them for no reason other than my body spites my existence.  I wouldn’t even mind if they weren’t so noticeable, but they are.  I don’t even know why they are there because I didn’t get them until after the majority of my growing.  

My mom (who is also a doctor) has suggested I might have Cushing’s disease.  It is caused by an overproduction of cortisol, and leads to weight gain and bright purple/pink stretch marks.  As well as other things such as acne and easily bruising, all of which line up pretty well.   

I don’t like how much weight I’m gaining or the amount of bright vibrant stretch marks I’m getting.  Of course me stressing about it has only led to me stress eating, which isn’t helping.  As someone who has always struggled with body image, and was actually starting to like the way I look until I gained so much weight, is very upsetting for me.

*Screams into the void* 

Here’s a resource:  https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/cushing-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20351310

Hey girlies, how are we doing? I’m good you know, I’m still breathing. We’re still breathing…

Let’s take a deep breath. Yes, right now. Feel everything you’re feeling right now, and feel it leave your body. Feels better doesn’t it? 🙂 Relax your shoulders, unclench your jaw, take another deep breath.

Cool, now that you’re comfortable… what’s uppp, I missed y’all. Recently, I’ve been put in some tough situations. The situations that just come along with life. I’m doing good though. I’m taking everything for how they are, applying it, and continuing to move. When situations happen unexpectedly, it’s for a reason. You have to find that reason. It could be to knock you down, take you higher, it could be a million reasons, but it’s up to you to figure out what that is and why.

Through the situation life has handed me during the last couple of weeks, I was looking control in the face. Things would happen and I would be totally out of control of it. It was scary, honestly. It was a lot of things. It was infuriating. It was confusing. It was a hard slap in the face some moments.

There will be lots of things you can’t control in your life, and I had to learn that. I learned that there were going to be different types of situations that I was out of control of as well. I was put through so many, and with such a diversity, because I needed to learn how to respond to them all, to the variety. Because it will be that way my and your entire life. It’s not always going to be someone else choosing a restaurant that you hate when you wanted to go to a different one, you get what I’m saying?

Let’s break it down. When you’re out of control, the natural response is to worry about it, overthink it, sit on it for hours, but you can’t do that. YOU have no control over it, but it has some over you. It’s making you worry, whatever that thing is, it’s sucking energy out of you that could be used and put into something that will serve you. It could be used to smile at people, to write a cute little story, to read a couple of pages of a book. But because you’re worrying about it, that draining negativity is being manifested into your brain, and later in your environment, everywhere really. You see how you have no control, but it has a lot over you? Yeah, that’s not good. It’s not good for your beautiful mind to be hurting.

How can we fix it? You’re aware you can’t control this situation, good that’s the first step. Take some deep breaths, become mindful that you can’t control it. Now, just because this crazy thing has just happened to you, doesn’t mean that you lost all control over every single thing in your life. (That’s for the easily discouraged girlies that need that extra reassurance. It’s okay I do too. All we can do is keep doing.) YOU STILL HAVE CONTROL! You have every single piece of control over how you react to this crazy, time-stopping, experience that has just happened to you, and that is the beauty in it. Remember the variety, and millions of things it could be? I’m going to share two different things I’ve been out of control of and how I reacted to give you a little example. 

Being told no. I hate it. It is my number one tick. It’s what makes me the maddest. I honestly don’t know if its called being “spoiled” or not, but that’s not how I look at it. In my mind, I simply don’t understand how another human can tell me what I can or can’t do. They’re a human, they’re my equivalent. You know what I mean? But sometimes people tell me no, and sometimes I have to accept it. It’s always been hard for me too. I get so angry I don’t recognize myself, after I fight someone to their bone just so I can get my way. That anger is not serving me. It’s hurting me in so many ways. I’m wasting energy that could be spent on healthy things, I’m hurting people I love, I’m putting negativity in my environment. When I need permission to do something, it is no longer in my control, and whatever the answer I get, I need to accept accordingly. I learned that the hard way. I can’t control what their answer is going to be. I understand that. I take a deep breath, I tell myself there is nothing I can do, and I accept it with peace. I don’t use anger to lose a bigger battle, because I’m aware I’m out of control but in control. I do this for myself. I am in control of what I allow myself to feel. 

Another situation I was put in and had no control over was not being able to talk to one of my best friends as much as I’d like. It was hard. It was unexpected, it was a shock, but there was nothing I could do. I had no control over the situation, but I had control over how I coped with it. I looked at it as a break, a time to catch up on my schoolwork, to prioritize. I choose not to sit around all day and fixate on how much I miss them. I choose to turn the sad energy into productive and hopeful energy. 

In situations like these, all you can do is turn it into something beautiful, something meaningful, productive, peaceful. I know I sound like a broken record but people need to be aware of how they react and how they choose to make a situation what they want it be. The purpose of every day to me, is to grow from the person I was yesterday. You can never stop healing, progressing, and growing. The first step is being aware, and from there you got it. I believe in you. You can never control the crazy nonlinear experience of life, the people around you and how they think, and what they project, but you can be aware and mindful of how you handle all of these things. Do it for yourself, for your protected energy, for your peace in mind. It matters and you deserve it. I love you, and you are so strong. 

You got this in the bag :), you really do, drink some water if you haven’t today. Bye girlies 🙂