Stag Party – Katie McCallister

Katie MacAlister’s Ain’t Myth Behaving, published in 2007, is a humorous romantic harlequin (my god, what was I thinking?). It’s divided into Norse Truly and Stag Party. Stag Party is what I read. It tells the love story of Dane, an Irish god more famously known as Cernunnos, and Megan (or is it spelled Meghan (another sign I do not care), an American author on a research trip. Dane, according to ancient mystical law has to get married every year or else he loses his godliness, becomes his actual age, and dies. Until now, he has remarried a woman who recently eloped with a Greek salsa dancer, so yeah, there is that to think about. The deadline from the time Dane meets Megan is a week. So, the conflict is whether or not he can convince her to marry him by the end of the week.

Let me just cut to the chase.

Aside from certain godawful books derived from Twilight that will go unnamed, because that train wreck is for another time, this novella is probably on of the most badly written things I have ever read.

I mean, it is just terrible. I wish I had the will to look up exactly who published this monstrosity.

See, I understand all genres have their own style of writing and all of that. Mysteries are mysterious, romances are romantic, tragedies are tragic, horrors are horrific, you get the idea.

This is the first harlequin I ever read. And for the genre’s sake, I hope this was the only one of its kind.

…but the story did have its perks. Let us get into specifics.

Why Stag Party is a Terrible Book

1: Dane is a horrible person.

Dane (last name I can’t remember because I am trying the best I can to forget this thing) is the only thing that could serve a saving grace, but even he is not enough. He is a funny guy, but unbelievably sexist. He is convinced that every woman swoons at the sight of him, and that is a bit conceited and extremely aggravating.

2. Megan is the weakest willed human being in existence, and probably the most inconsistent too.

I am not sure exactly what Katie MacAlister was going for when she wrote this character. Megan begins the story fine. When Dane starts coming onto her, which is like three microseconds after he meets her, she reacts as normal person would. She rejects his affection. She is also flattered, which is not always realistic, but it is a harlequin, so I let it slide. But the second Dane kisses her for the first time (if I am remembering correctly it was against her will, but I am so past this book, I refuse to fact check), she melts into his arm. Dane wants to sleep with her constantly, and she always says no; until she says yes. It is maddening.

3. What the heck is a tension?

You would think this book with this premise would be suspenseful, what with the protagonist’s life on the line, but nooooooooo. It’s focused on the humor a little (A LOT) too much. Even when a character is stabbed in the chest, which it supposed to be a big moment, it is robbed of its tension, when nearly no one reacts to it.

God, I’m glad it’s over. The story is only good for a quick laugh and a tutorial on how not to write a book.

0.5 Stars out of 1,000,000

THANK GOD IT’S OVER.

Author: Jordyn Harper

If I were to describe my writing style, it would be... volcanic. Most of the time, I sit, looming, silent, harmless. My writing is generally romantic, pleasing to the eye. I imagine a scenario that in my opinion would be mutually satisfying. But every now and then, maybe after a particularly odd dream or an especially horrible day, I will erupt. And these eruptions might last for a long time. My writing devolves, or evolves, however you choose to view it, into madness. Scrawls of controversy and scribbles of the chaos of my inner mind. That is my best writing, and I can rarely summon that at will, which means, I have plenty of room to improve. But then again, don't we all?